In perhaps the most important news story to occur in the history of the planet Earth, someone’s pet llama got loose in Trinidad, Colorado yesterday, and for maybe like an hour or something, people were all, “Whoa, is that a llama?” Speculation ran wild as to how such a magnificent beast could have arrived at the Trinidad State Junior College, but people who seem to think that they know everything about life believe that it simply escaped from a nearby “llama sitter.”
I, on the other hand, have a much more intelligent and likely theory. I believe that this llama enrolled in school under the name Aaron Llama, and he simply wanted to go to his first class so that he could check in on Facebook and make his family and friends very proud of him. But then, when he realized that he arrived without his human being costume, which consists of a fake mustache and a pair of jean shorts, the llama thought, “Oh sh*t, better act like a really scared and surprised llama!” and then ran around until police were able to secure it. Yes, that has to be what happened.