Finally, science has actually done something useful for mankind. A team of researchers from the University of Auckland in New Zealand has published a study entitled, “Quantification of Pizza Baking Properties of Different Cheeses, and Their Correlation with Cheese Functionality,” because who needs a cure for all of those pesky diseases or renewable fuel sources when you can unlock the secrets to the world’s most delicious food? Led by professor Bryony James, this team examined multiple types of cheeses when they were cooked on pizzas – because, again, SCIENCE – and they used “cameras and special software designed to precisely measure the amount of browning, blistering and oil content,” according to NPR. Seriously, it’s a f*cking pizza.
But mouth-burning and jovial cynicism aside, there is actually a purpose to a study like this one. James admits that the idea of studying pizza cheese boiling and blistering is silly – everyone already knows that mozzarella is the king – and what her team actually does is play around with the “building blocks” of food so they can better understand… something. I honestly have no clue what this lady is talking about, but now I really want some pizza.