Some 200 people angrily walked out of Amy Schumer’s comedy show in Tampa, FL, on Sunday after the comedian called Donald Trump an “orange, sexual-assaulting, fake-college-starting monster.” (That’s Samantha Bee-esque.) She also touched on gun control, a cause she’s publicly (and nakedly) campaigned for. On Tuesday, Schumer responded to the mass exodus during her performance at Madison Square Garden by reading an open letter. “Dearest Tampa, I’m sorry you didn’t want me, a comedian who talks about what she believes in, to mention the biggest thing going on in our country right now,” she began. “How could I think it was okay to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views?”
Schumer continued, “After the show, I want you to know that I will go straight to a rehab facility that will teach me how to make all people happy. Both the rich, entitled, white people who are going to vote for him and the very poor people who have been tricked into it! And Tampa, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that [Trump] was an orange, sexually-assaulting, fake-college-starting monster. Shouldn’t have said that. I will never again say that he is an orange, sexually-assaulting, fake-college-starting monster. Ever again.”
The loudest cheers came at the conclusion of her letter, when Schumer said, “I look forward to putting this all behind us in a couple of weeks when Hillary Clinton is our motherf*cking president!” It’s still too soon for that kind of cocky talk. Clinton’s leading in nearly every poll, but we’re this close to President Orange Sexually-Assaulting, Fake-College-Starting Monster.