The only thing more obnoxious than people who post pictures of food — which, yes, even I’m guilty of from time to time — are people who post pictures of nasty food. You’ve got the gluten-free, dairy-free meatless people who post pictures of their garbage creations as if to say, LOOK HOW HEALTHY I AM AND I CAN EAT DELICIOUS THINGS TOO. Nope, no you can’t, and that looks gross. Then you’ve got the Pinterest types who post horrifying photos of sugar and fat laden white trash monstrosities, proudly giving the double middle finger to diabetes. And then there’s even people who post pictures of food of perfectly acceptable nature but do so using one of the last flip phone cameras known to man which just makes it look like grainy unappealing slop. (Extra points if the flip phone owner also falls into one of the former categories.)
I could go on and on. Which was why I was especially delighted to discover this tumblr, Someone Ate This, which takes the worst in food photography and puts it on the greasy pedestal it so richly deserves. Even better yet, the photos are paired with LOL-inducing captions such as “I would rather eat coins” and tags that range from “horse miscarriage” and “medical waste” to “hot diarrhea water.” Here’s some of my favorites:
I wonder if this tastes as good as it looks! If only I could try it in real life! I’d get a HUGE serving spoon and scoop out one of the corners where the oil has collected. And I’d shove it in my mouth. And I’d gargle and swish it around in there to really let the complexity of the flavors come out.
This is like what your mom’s new boyfriend cooks for you when you visit his shag carpeted condo for the first time.