Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin, 2014’s most oddly-paired relationship outside of Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez, have ended their relationship after just four months and one photo op, according to E! News. No word on what caused the breakup, but if I had to guess I’d say the fact that she’s twenty-four and he’s a 37-year-old man who just got out of a ten year marriage that produced two children is probably the biggest culprit. I mean I guess there are some 24-year-olds out there who would be totally cool with being a stepmom figure to a ten-year-old and eight-year-old, but I know I sure as hell wouldn’t have at that age. Or my current age, for that matter.
Also suspect is that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were captured on video last week looking kind of touchy feely with each other after a dinner with their kids. So, if that was indeed a factor in the breakup, all you guys out there who are still holding out hope that one day you’re going to marry Jennifer Lawrence have Gwyneth Paltrow to thank for that. She’d probably appreciate a thank you gift in the form of rare orchids imported from the Valley of Flowers in the Himalayas.