What if Glenn Close was your mom? That’s what the movie Bastards presupposes, and to be honest that would be incredibly awesome. The movie also presupposes that Glenn Close (or, the character that Close is playing) has lied to her two sons (Owen Wilson and Ed Helms, wearing their best golf club sweaters) their entire lives about their dad dying of colon cancer before they could recall. Once that news is out in the open, the boys decide they should go on a road trip together to find their real day. Chances are whoever it is won’t live up to the amazingness of Glenn Close being back in a movie (that isn’t a cameo in Guardians of the Galaxy) and being their mom.
As you can imagine, hilarity ensues on the trip.
Between sort-of kidnapping a hitchhiker (and maybe serial killer?), causing problems at JK Simmons’ house, and nearly getting hit by a train, the antics in the trailer alone have Wilson and Helms in constant danger – and that doesn’t even take into account how traumatizing it is to hear about their mom’s “dick whispering” abilities. That’s enough to give anybody a stroke from sheer discomfort. Will it turn out to be that their dad is Terry Bradshaw? It seems like he will be a red herring cameo, but it’s also not impossible that Terry Bradshaw’s fictional alter ego knocked up Glenn Close’s fictional alter ego to produce two of the funniest actors working today.
