One first-round series that has been getting a lot of buzz is the 4-5 matchup in the West between the Clippers and the Blazers.
Some people are taking the approach the Clippers are just too talented, while others maintain let’s wait and see how Blake Griffin looks, and and still others say I won’t know what to think about this series until Uproxx simulates the matchup on a state of the art video game.
GATHER ROUND, FAM.
Previous NBA Playoff Simulations:
- Cleveland Cavaliers Vs. Detroit Pistons
- Golden State Warriors Vs. Houston Rockets
- Toronto Raptors Vs. Indiana Pacers
Okay, but if the game is called IN THE ZONE 2, couldn’t they have called it BACK IN THE ZONE or RETURN TO THE ZONE and also why did they leave the zone to begin with? I bet if you asked Charles Barkley he’d say that the players in his generation never left the zone. Because toughness.
I fire up the simulation and…well, this is interesting. Terry Stotts has apparently given Mason Plumlee the green light to run the point his own damn self whenever he gets a rebound:
Portland seems to be the friskier team in the first half. They’re much looser. C.J. McCollum is getting good looks. Dame Lillard is getting wherever he wants. Chris Kaman sitting on the bench, all grizzled up and whatnot, ready to wrestle a bear if the circumstances warrant it. The Clippers, on the other hand, are falling behind. CP3 is missing easy shots. The Clippers are just out of sorts, and I know this because Jamal Crawford just passed the ball, and that can’t be good.
Also, Dame Lillard just jumped over J.J. Redick and Crawford and dunked the ball from about 10 feet away, no big deal:
Also, the Portland game plan is apparently to ignore Paul Pierce at all times, especially when he has the basketball:
Pierce stood in this stance for about five seconds, just staring at an open lane to the rim and doing nothing. Finally, Allen Crabbe closed out on him out of sheer boredom, and Pierce immediately took a contested three and bricked it. Basketball.
I mean, just look at J.J. Redick staring at Pierce in that last pic. That’s how my college coach would glare at me from the sideline when I tried to make a fancy pass and turned the ball over.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THERE ARE NO NBA SCOUTS HERE, JUST MAKE THE SIMPLE PASS AND GET BACK IN THE PAINT WHERE YOU BELONG.
So anyway, the Blazers won this game. I realized midway through the simulation that the default setting for quarter length was 2 minutes, but I decided not to restart it and I just let the simulation run its course. Does this mean that Portland will win the series? Tough to say. I suppose we could set up a trial of several dozen simulations and attempt to account for any possible confounding variables…
Yes. Portland will absolutely win the series. As long as Mason Plumlee gets to lead fast breaks.
