Here’s one of those videos that require literally no context besides the title, but here goes anyway. On Thursday night in Houston, Shane Battier put on his annual “Battioke” fundraising dinner for his Take Charge Foundation, which gives college scholarships to low-income kids. Basically, he gets his athlete/sports celebrity friends to do karaoke, and people who would pay good money to see it wind up giving that money to charity. Every year, Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey dresses up to take part, and this year might just have been his most embarrassing ever.
He had said that he was legitimately scared to do this one in the lead-up to the event (Battier guaranteed it would go viral at the 58-minute mark), which makes perfect sense when you realize he was staring down having to dress up like Glinda from Wicked and sing a Shane Battier-specific version of “Defying Gravity.” He can’t sing a lick (and Shane isn’t much better), but he has solidified his rep as the most awesomely uncool GM in the NBA.
Can you see Pat Riley dressing up as a good witch and howling like a wounded cat? No, he surrounded himself with young women and butchered “Twist and Shout” when he did Battioke. Phil Jackson would chuckle and shake his head, and if you asked him twice, he probably wouldn’t chuckle the second time. Maybe Morey’s protege Sam Hinkie would follow Daryl’s lead, but he seems like a far more serious guy. Either way, Morey’s a peach for doing this, because it’s hilarious.
The parody lyrics themselves fall somewhere between a brutally awkward wedding gimmick and a Weird Al song, which is to say that they’re pretty good if you know the references. They include some legitimate zingers from either side, and Shane really sells the chorus the way only a shameless karaoke hero can.
Now, if only we can get video of special guest Roger Clemens’ performance, then we’ll REALLY have something.
(Thanks, Take Charge Foundation)
