Without drama, how can you even get excited? That’s how we felt watching the Heat roll over Philly last night, doing it so effortlessly in the second half that not even Andrew Bynum‘s new haircut could get us going. In the Heat’s 114-90 win, the third quarter wasn’t even fair. Miami hit the hosts with a 15-3 run, and had LeBron (16 points, 10 rebounds, 11 assists) and Dwyane Wade (33 points) rolling: making the extra pass, hitting from midrange, the entire offense flowed like water. The Sixers were resorting to doing that “Philly thing” – basically, playing the most boring brand of offensive basketball in the league. Before long, a relatively close game was a 20-point blowout. James — or “Your Excellence” as the Miami announcers starting calling him — officially ended it with two buckets near the end of the third. First, he isolated, spinning and scoring with no dribble from the three-point line. Then the very next play, he went up and caught a fast-break lob from Norris Cole. As Malik Rose said of LeBron: “Since getting that championship, he’s just playing with such ease… like he’s got Isaac Hayes ’70s funk music playing in his head because he’s so cool.” … Wade reached 16,000 career points last night, which is crazy to think about because (not trying to take anything away from him) Kobe has nearly twice that many … Cleveland didn’t even need Kyrie Irving (12 points) to do much in order to destroy the Magic, 118-94. What is going on in Orlando? Like, what is their plan? We’re not sure they have one. Orlando fans are probably yearning for the days of Jeryl Sasser. One of the Magic’s second quarter lineups looked like this: Beno Udrih, Doron Lamb, Kyle O’Quinn, Tobias Harris and DeQuan Jones. It felt like summer league … How much has Beno’s season sucked? He starts off in Milwaukee, which is less fun than a dentist visit. Then, he gets traded to Orlando. We’re not sure it can get any worse … In their two-point upset of Houston, the Wizards did everything wrong to end the game: they gave up a dunk to Omer Asik, John Wall shot an airball, they gave James Harden an easy layup by letting him go left, and finally, they missed two of four free throws in the closing seconds. However, one Bradley Beal rebound off a missed free throw basically secured it for them, and it capped another great night from the rookie: 15 of his 21 points came in the second half, and then he added 13 “I means” in the postgame interview … To start the game, seven of the Rockets’ first nine baskets were triples. Chandler Parsons (24 points) and Harden (27 points) were having no troubles, pushing the Rockets up by as many as 17. Houston’s shooting was so hot that Asik eventually took his shirt off. No really, the dude had a brain fart and thought they were running shirts and skins at one point, going shirtless in a huddle and scaring off a half dozen women and children sitting courtside … Did you catch Andrew Wiggins flushing a defender down his proverbial toilet? Disgusting dunk. The way he jump-stops and then elevates immediately after that is ruthless, like a Super Mario mega jump … Keep reading to hear which All-Star Indiana got back into their lineup…
No more questions are necessary. The Pacers ARE the second-best team in the East (sorry New York). After dismantling Detroit again last night, 90-72, they’ve won their last four games by a combined 108 points. Danny Granger played in his first game of the season, and came off the bench to go 1-for-10 from the floor for two points. But the one shot he made had the Pacers bench acting like he’d just hit a walk-off home run … In a 20-point game with just under nine minutes to go, Psycho T took a punch to the gut from Will Bynum, and Hansbrough got up like he was ready to fight. For a split second, everyone in the Palace was like “No! Not again…” … Despite getting outplayed by Kemba Walker (24 points, five dimes), Denver got 20 out of Ty Lawson in their easy 14-point W in Charlotte. But has there ever been a worse team with better highlights than the Bobcats? They ran a contest last night for the squad’s best dunk of the season, and it included crazy slams from Gerald Henderson, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist and Byron Mullens. They’re like the movie Semi-Pro: a few great highlights, but flawed nonetheless … In other scores last night: Al Horford (23 points, 11 rebounds) answered a go-ahead layup from Monta Ellis (14 points, 10 dimes) with one of his own in the final seconds. When Ellis missed a runner at the buzzer, Atlanta had a one-point comeback win; and in L.A., Caron Butler had 21 points as the Clippers pounded Utah, 107-94 … How many NBA teams could use No. 11 Georgetown’s Otto Porter Jr. right now? He played all 40 minutes against No. 8 Syracuse, and dropped 33 in the Hoyas’ ugly 57-46 road win, snapping Cuse’s 38-game home winning streak. No one else in the game had more than 13. Porter Jr. was so good, and the rest of the teams were so bad, and yet the Orange continuously left him open. His jumpers never seemed to even hit the rim, and his incredible three-point play (had the ball around his waist underneath the rim, and somehow got it up and spun it in) with 1:21 left sealed it … In the first half, both teams couldn’t score, throwing up snowball after snowball at the rim. Syracuse’s length was disrupting the Hoyas’ offensive flow, but on the other end, the Orange took more ridiculous three-pointers in one half than J.R. Smith has all season. James Southerland in particular was shooting from the snowbanks outside of the arena. Yet Michael Carter-Williams had the play of the game in the first half, blocking a three-point shot cleanly, securing the rebound before it hit the floor, pushing it ahead, and then finished with a three-point play. That’s the advantage of being a 6-6 point guard and having the wingspan of a condor … And the Miami Hurricanes finally lost a conference game, getting blown out by 15 against under-.500 Wake Forest. Wake’s C.J. Harris torched them for 23 points, making all five of his triples. They should’ve flown Chris Bosh in to make a pregame speech … And have you ever heard of the card game called Bourré? Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton have. It seems NBA players love it, and some are trying to make it as popular as poker. Hey, we’re all for it, as long as we keep O.J. Mayo away … We’re out like Orlando’s roster.
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