When I was in 11th grade, I took a Government and Politics class. Early on in the course, we took The Political Compass test. It was great, And by great, I mean it is the kind of test that you should never take around a family member before Thanksgiving dinner.
Anyway, if you’ve never taken the test, you can do that here. It asks you a bunch of questions about various morals, beliefs, and scenarios. After you’ve plugged in all your answers (be honest!) you end up somewhere on the political spectrum. For some, it affirms every belief you thought you had about yourself. For others, it’s a wakeup call about what you’ve been calling yourself since college. It’s fun – and educational!
Anyway, if you would like to know why the headline for this post calls James Harden socialism, I ask you to lock your gaze upon this graphic:
This wonderful graphic comes from Twitter user @brownasthenight (who, true story, I have played basketball with and he is a devastating on-ball defender). It places these players on the chart based on how their basketball skill set (or their coaching style) lines up with political philosophy. Here is a more detailed version of what the chart looks like based on political beliefs, and here are a few musings about the Hoopslitical Compass.
- Russell Westbrook is right on the verge of anarchy. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.
- Harden’s game is socialism. Seeing as how he leads the NBA in assists this year I think this is accurate.
- Sam Hinkie is anarcho capitalism. He likely believes that the best way for a society (league) to proceed, we should destroy the state (or, rather, the NBA) and let the free market dictate who is the strongest. At the end, there would only be one person left standing: Sam Hinkie. And not Bryan Colangelo. Very much not Bryan Colangelo.
- Conversely, Gregg Popovich and Steve Kerr are left authoritarians in their coaching style. Pop is certainly up there, maybe even farther towards totalitarianism than he currently is – the Spurs are great because of Pop, and you must succumb to his wishes. Kerr I will disagree on, as he seems to have a very libertarian coaching style. The presence of authority (a coach) interferes with the ability of the people (players) to operate freely. That kind of sounds like how Kerr coaches, no?
- There are two sides to Phil Jackson’s management style – the left libertarian from his younger days who has since morphed into a right authoritarian. In this context, “right authoritarian” means “bad at running the Knicks” while “left libertarian” means “the Triangle works as long as you constantly have two of the 10-best basketball players alive,” I suppose.
As for people who are not on here but should be, I feel like Tim Duncan would be smack in the center because any leanings in one way or another would be so against everything we have come to know about Tim Duncan. The right authoritarian dot that says “anyone can own anything” kind of has to be Dan Gilbert, because the Cavs’ luxury tax number is absurd.
“Few things can be owned” is the Nets as an organization, obviously. This applies to players and draft picks.
One final question: whose game makes them the Democratic Party and whose game makes them the GOP? Forgetting The Political Compass for a sec and just looking solely from a “where do they stand in American politics/the NBA” standpoint, the former took a major L last year when it looked like they were going to win. They are Steph Curry. The latter is cold, ruthless, will do anything to win, and beloved by older people. This very obviously makes them Kobe Bryant.
