Pic And Roll: Kobe Bryant’s Shakespearean Experiment And DeMarcus Cousins’ Dastardly Plan

12.05.15 3 years ago

Kobe Bryant out! Craig Sager in! DeMarcus Cousins is going to kidnap Rajon Rondo, which makes total sense. The Lopez twins continue to be the best interviews in all of sports. Steph Curry did Steph Curry things. It’s time for the Pic And Roll!

Shall I Compare Thee To A Midseason’s Game?

Kobe Bryant announced his retirement with a poem, which is maybe the most Kobe Bryant thing ever. While it might have been surprising at the time, now that we’ve had a bit to reflect on it, it makes total sense. When Tim Duncan retires, we won’t even get an announcement, he just won’t show up to training camp. When Kevin Garnett calls it quits, he’ll hold a press conference where he talks and talks and talks and half of Minnesota will get fired up.

Kobe, though, Kobe loves the drama. And what’s more dramatic than saying you’re done than doing so with a poem (and out-scooping all other media outlets in the process)? Personally, “Dear Basketball” is a fairly mundane title. Why not go with a more Shakespearean flair, maybe “To Bean, or not to Bean?” or “The Merchant of Venice (Beach).”

As far as actual poems go, well…let’s just say Kobe won’t be going into the Iowa Writers’ Workshop when he retires.

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