When the Lakers signed Michael Beasley this summer to play alongside LeBron James, we all knew the entertainment factor would be off the charts. We just had no idea it would literally start on day one. But then at the Lakers’ media day this week, Beasley proceeded to give one of the great interviews in recent memory.
For those of us not evolved enough to access that elusive 11th percentage point of brainpower that separates the mortals from the mental giants, this exchange with ESPN reporter Dave McMenamin might be too much for our meager minds to comprehend.
One of the crucial skills an NBA player has to develop is the ability to provide non-answers to questions they’d rather not address, but this is a whole other level. Beasley’s responses here are not only a master class in the subtle art of circular reasoning (and passive aggression), but a brief and enlightening journey into his interplanetary wokeness and an existential meditation on the nature of space and time. Behold:
https://twitter.com/ESPNNBA/status/1044688090164600833
ESPN: “With taking it a day at a time, where should this Lakers team end up by the end of the year?”
Beasley: “Exactly where we want to.”
ESPN: “Which is?”
Beasley: “Where we want to be.”
ESPN: “Where do you want to be?”
Beasley: “Taking it a day at a time.”
ESPN: “But once you add up all those days, where can you end up?”
Beasley: “The future.”
ESPN: “Fair. You’re going to move the calendar there. But the future, let’s say April through June, April through May, where should the ceiling be for this group?”
Beasley: “The ceiling? I don’t know. I’m not sure. That’s not up for me. I’m not an analysis, I’m not a stat-chaser or critic. So, like I said, we’re here to do one job, which is work, sacrifice and take it a day at a time.”
So get it straight. Beasley is not an analyst. He’s here to do one thing (which appears to be three things). It’s hard to compare anyone to Kyrie Irving and his Flat-Earth crusade, but don’t sleep on Beasley as one of the more underrated cautionary tales of someone who has just a little too much juice in the wokeness department. Either that, or he just needs a little more practice at dodging media questions.
