We are now a month into the NBA Playoffs which means one thing: We have now all seen the same 5-10 commercials a thousand times.
It happens every year for sports fans, whether during playoff time or March Madness. The leading sponsors of the league run commercial after commercial for months on end until you are Stockholm Syndrome’d into reciting them line for line. The NBA Playoffs have been no different, but with four games per day to start the first round it was amplified, if anything, by watching as many games as we have.
With that in mind, it’s time to rank the five most frequent national ads from worst to best, starting with the one that is probably stuck in your head right now.
5. “Tara Tara Look At Her Go”
It’s time to talk about the Idina Menzel commercial for Geico. I will give them credit for creating a stupid jingle so catchy it can’t help but worm its way into your brain and get stuck there for days, but I cannot watch it any longer without speaking out on the upsetting falsity of the lyrics. There is no way you could mistake “taxidermy” for “tax attorney” by reading it wrong. You could hear it wrong or write it down wrong, but in now way do those two things look remotely similar. It’s upsetting, and I don’t like it.
The Stamos knitting ad is far superior in that it doesn’t get stuck in your head (and yes I know that’s a feature, not a bug) and doesn’t have a line that drives me insane because it makes no sense.
4. “We’re all on our telephoneses”
Snoop Dogg is a delight in almost all cases, but this one is wearing on me quickly because for some reason it’s the only spot from this campaign they play on NBA broadcasts. Even the incessant insurance ads have a few different options. That said, Snoop’s robe is, truly, astounding in this ad and he remains one of the coolest people on the planet.
3. Joel Deserves Better
It is objectively hilarious that this commercial is still airing as often as it is after the Sixers got trounced in the first round. “Joel deserves better” takes on a whole different meaning after he got little help from his teammates against the Celtics in the first round and now there is significant discussion about a roster overhaul in Philly. Even Embiid gets the irony of all of this.
I’m still really unhappy
— Joel Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) September 2, 2020
2. Return of the Mack
I’m never mad about hearing the Mark Morrison classic. As for content, support small businesses! It’s a good message, but this is all about “Return of the Mack.”
1. “Who Else Reads Books About Submarines?”
It upsets me how much I enjoy these ads, despite having seen them for months now. They are both hilarious and serve as PSAs to people who actually do these things in public, such as talking on speakerphone in a store and offering unsolicited advice.
I saw someone with blue hair out in public like a month ago and quoted this word for word. It was delightful. I hope this campaign usurps Flo and continues for years.
