Confession time. I’m in my 30s, and I only shave once or twice a week. Sometimes not even that much, depending on if I’m at some event, or my lady wants to go somewhere fancy that would frown upon torn jeans, a t-shirt and whiskers. That last part is key.
I barely grow facial hair, despite my Old Man having a beard that looks straight off The Giver cover. Once I turned 21, it morphed into an advantage (buying bourbon before then proved challenging), but up until this past June — when I quit — I’d consistently get asked to show ID when I procured cigarettes, and I still get asked for ID almost every time I go out. (Reminder to our younger readers: Don’t smoke, but you should absolutely go out — the world is a big place.)
I’ve got one of those seraphic faces that annoy my perpetually lined peers. Most men my age have to deal with five o’clock shadows, scruff and the annoyance of shaving every morning before work. Even if I did grow a normal mass of facial hair, I wouldn’t really have to shave anyway; I infrequently visit the office, and even if I did come in more, I’m a nobody, so I can afford to shirk the normal male grooming procedure; no one would even notice or care. (Huzzah for anonymity!)
Unlike me, Russell Westbrook is a pretty big deal. People do — and should — care about him. He graced the cover of NBA Live 16, he’s the spokesman of True Religion jeans, the owner of his own line of sunglasses, and one of the more preeminent Jordan Brand athletes around — so much so that he’s even got his own line of off-the-court kicks, the first JB player ever to do so, in fact.
Except, due to a genetic anomaly — which I think is a huge advantage, but some might think is just weird — Westbrook doesn’t grow facial hair. In fact, he’s even more glabrous than I am.
“I have never shaved a day in my life,” Russ informed Maxim recently about his off-the-court pursuits. “I just don’t really grow facial hair.”
He really doesn’t. He’s got the same wisps of hair around his mouth that I do.
Despite the parallels with my own countenance, this is probably only the second characteristic I share with Russell Westbrook.
The other one of course being my love of hoops.
(Maxim)
