I’ve always wanted to own a Gorilla Suit. A really good one, something that would legitimately scare people if they saw me at night in it. I wanted it to be so good that I’d have wide-eyed people ripping out their photos to take pictures of what they thought was the real-life Bigfoot. In college, there was a dining area open until 3 a.m. on the weekends, and the way it was setup would’ve given the perfect opportunity to don a suit late on a Saturday night, with lit college kids packing the place, and come charging through for one quick lap. That’s all I wanted: a suit for one night.
I never did get that suit, but I can say I’ve had some decent costumes: in the past few years, I’ve been a MILF, Urkel and the dudes from White Men Can’t Jump. I’m sure the NBA lockout won’t stop players from going out and having a good time this weekend. Halloween is here. If you’re a warm-blooded male, it’s one of the best nights of the year. If you don’t enjoy Halloween or call it overrated, you’re doing it wrong. Because of the presence of Twitter, we get to see what players are dressing up as even more nowadays. Last year was classic. Can this year top it? It’ll be difficult. Guys gotta be saving money right now…
[Related: Paul Pierce’s Halloween Costume]
Here are the top 5 costumes from NBA players that I’ve seen in the last year or two.
***
Honorable mention: Dwyane Wade as Justin Timberlake
5. Rudy Gay As Michael Jackson
There are all together too many MJ-wannabes nowadays – even when it’s not Halloween – but at least Gay did it right.
4. Dwight Howard As A Bum
The beard does it. Actually, kudos for coordinating the beard and hair game. It looks like smelly, damp dog hair where someone just strained the water out, let it sit in the sun for a few days and then sprayed it gray. Howard could make this work because he’d be willing to go stand on the street and beg for quarters. He’d dive completely into the character and not come up until daylight. The sign is unintentional comedy in itself. Dwight thinks he’s a phenomenal dancer, but if he’s willing to dance for food, I’m not sure how far that’s going to get him.
3. Marquis Daniels As A Preacher
So ironic. Daniels is a good dude, but stereotypically, with his body art, the last thing you’d seen him as is a preacher. I doubt you could ever get him to boom like a preacher either. He’s a pretty quiet dude. This must’ve been a relatively easy costume to put together, but he still went all out with the book, the glasses and the cross.
2. Shaquille O’Neal As Shaquetta?
Even though he’s recently retired, no one killed it last year like O’Neal. No one. That should be expected though.
1. The Celtics
I will just go with the whole team, even though I could laugh at Rajon Rondo in this picture for the rest of my life. I feel like they had too much fun together dressing up that it almost became weird.
Which one made you laugh the hardest? And what are you rocking this weekend?
Follow Sean on Twitter at @SEANesweeney.
Follow Dime on Twitter at @DimeMag.
Become a fan of Dime Magazine on Facebook HERE.
