When Shaquille O’Neal officially retired last week after 19 seasons, he left the NBA as one of the most dominant big men of all time. O’Neal won four championships and three straight NBA Finals MVPs, but his personality just might be the most memorable part of his career. At no time was this more evident than when Shaq would give us his self-proclaimed nicknames such as “The Big Aristotle” and “Shaqfu” to name a few. So in honor of Shaq’s retirement, we passed the duties on to the fans. Here are the top 10 new nicknames given to him from musical legends Chuck D and 9th Wonder to college students:
10. “ShaqDonald’s”
Creator: 9th Wonder (Grammy Award-winning hip-hop producer)
Dime Says: Not only Shaq the basketball player, but Shaq the personality is his own huge franchise. McDonald’s might be America’s fast food, and you’re not American if don’t enjoy listening to O’Neal talk to the press.
9. “Shaqle”
Creator: Malcolm Wilkins (sophomore at UNC)
Dime Says: It’s very simple. When you talk about dominant NBA big men in the last 10-15 years, Shaq has the conversation on lock. And with his play, he’s put himself in the company of legends such as Wilt Chamberlain, Bill Russell and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar as one of the greatest centers of all time.
8. “His Shaqness”
Creator: Veton Sinanaj (junior at SUNY Purchase)
Dime Says: Because like in the Dr. Pepper commercial, Shaq is so unique that there’s really no better way to describe him than with a made up noun derived from his own name. Will there ever be another player you wouldn’t want to be next to in the paint just as much as you would want to kick it with him off the court?
7. “Shaq-A-Roni And Cheese”
Creator: 9th Wonder (Grammy Award-winning hip-hop producer)
Dime Says: A cheesy (like that joke) play on words that I could see Shaq coming up with himself. Can’t you see Shaq saying “Shaq-A-Roni,” pointing to himself and then pointing up to his winning smile (the cheese).
6. “Giant Shaquaki Mushroom”
Creator: Victor Perry (junior at UNC)
Dime Says: A play on words based on the shitake mushroom, a food native to East Asia. I see Shaq as a worldly man. Can’t you just envision Shaq in the middle of Beijing amongst a huge Chinese crowd amazed at his size and even bigger personality? Then, Shaq raises his arms to silence the crowd and lets out a thunderous “I am the Great Shaquaki Mushroom!” It would almost be a surprise if there isn’t video evidence of this already happening.
5. “Full Metal Shaqet”
Creator: Rapsody (Jamla/IWWMG recording artist)
Dime Says: Shaq already has the Superman logo tattooed on his arm, so why not take the “Man of Steel” theme further. O’Neal was untouchable during his career, though injuries in his final couple of seasons proved that he isn’t indestructible. I think he bowed out at the right time, though.
4. “The Landlord”
Creator: Kane French (junior at UNC)
Dime Says: When Shaq was in the paint there was no question it was his house. If not for the fact that there was physically little room for anyone else, it was his house because of the dominant performances he delivered. And now that’s he’s retired, he has time to be the man of his actual home. A place that could probably be classified as more of a small village, Shaq’s house is big enough that he held his retirement press conference there in a room so large that there was an echo during reporters’ questions.
3. “The Big Sunset”
Creator: Chuck D (legendary rapper from Public Enemy)
Dime Says: Shaq’s retirement marks the end of one of the most colorful careers in NBA, maybe sports history. As the sun sets on his career so to speak, he went out in the most beautiful way possible; cracking jokes with the press, even taking personal shots at his own free-throw shooting and acting career.
2. “Shaqoustic Guitar”
Creator: Victor Perry (junior at UNC)
Dime Says: Can’t you see this conversation happening at a press conference after a game:
Reporter: “Shaq talk about the play when you dribbled full court and then snuck that shovel pass to Paul Pierce for the lay-in.”
Shaq: “Well you know, I like to think of myself as a guard in an oversized body.”
Reporter: “Yeah, the delivery was very smooth for a big man.”
Shaq: “I have very soft hands and fingers. I make beautiful music with these hands. I’m the Shaqoustic Guitar.”
1. “Caddy Shaq”
Creator: Carson Koenig (junior at UNC)
Dime Says: Shaq is a renaissance man. Shaq has rapped, Shaq has acted, Shaq has played basketball, Shaq has been a sheriff, and as Shaq finishes getting his PhD (which he plans to receive in December or January), Shaq spends time on the golf course becoming the next Tiger Woods. It’s only right for a retired man with millions of dollars to hit the green. Once the monstrous Shaq gets a hang of his swing, his biggest problem will probably be overshooting the hole by a good 5-360 yards. Otherwise, it will be as easy as a free throw. Oh wait…
What’s your favorite new Shaq nickname?
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