Having had the privilege of taking part in the “Ophidiophobia” viral spot for the Nike Zoom Kobe VI – and actually see a black mamba snake in person – I gotta say, I wasn’t that impressed. Sure it produces deadly venom and travels at blazing speeds, but so what; it has no personality. With that said, owing to the hype surrounding Kobe‘s Black Mamba moniker at an all-time high, I decided to take a look at five players besides Kobe who are deserving of reptilian designation.
Blake Griffin is The Western Diamondback Rattlesnake
Just like the rattlesnake, Blake Griffin has the greatest propensity to strike at any given moment. While both sport a lighter complexion, they are both among the most dangerous in their field and often stand their ground when provoked. Synonymous with the Diamondback is its rattler, which is used primarily for intimidation. Blake Superior uses his ability to rattle the rim coupled with an unrelenting glare – something Mario Chalmers is all too familiar with – to intimidate his victims.
LeBron James is The King Cobra
Besides the name, the king cobra and King James share a lot of similarities. They’re both great climbers, can intimidate based on appearance alone and have enough “venom” to take on even the largest prey. For the cobra, that’s an elephant; for LeBron, that’s Amar’e Stoudemire, Kevin Garnett and pretty much anyone in his way. Let’s not overlook the fact that the king cobra is considered a sacred deity in India, much the way LeBron was regarded for his first seven years in the League.
Tim Duncan is The Boa Constrictor
Because of his mobility, longevity and mind games, Tim Duncan is the boa constrictor of the NBA. The boa is slow and methodical, yet effective, when attacking its prey – much like Duncan. Duncan will gradually “constrict” his opponent until they make a mistake upon which he’s right there to capitalize. Duncan also mirrors the longevity of the boa, which can live up to 40 years (the Robert Parish of snakes), as he is still producing big numbers at 34 years old.
Chris Paul is The Puff Adder
Despite its small stature, the puff adder, much like Chris Paul, can pack a powerful punch. Known as one of the deadliest snakes in Africa (move over black mamba), this heavily built snake has a quick draw much like Paul and they both won’t hesitate to attack when faced with an opponent. Because of the puff adder’s slow acting venom, it requires a great deal of patience when waiting for a victim to conk out. Similarly as a point guard, CP requires patience to lull his opponent before he makes a move, or the patience to wait for an open man to dish it too.
Shaquille O’Neal is The Green Anaconda
I think I would be remiss if I didn’t include Shaq on this list, and what better snake to encapsulate “The Big Shamrock” than the green anaconda. As one of the largest men to ever play in the NBA, it is only fitting to compare him with the biggest snake in the world. Slow and sluggish can best describe these two larger than life figures, but they both have the ability to swallow their prey whole when hungry and/or driven enough. Never mind the unintended phallic reference; this would be a great nickname for the first-year Celtic.
What do you think?
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