Watch This Fantastic Kobe Bryant “Let It Go” Frozen Parody: “Let It Tank”

I hate musicals. Call it un-American or, as my family explains, “You’re just a toneless hater,” but I just don’t understand spontaneously breaking into song; I feel similarly about karaoke. But I’ve been listening and singing along to Bleacher Report’s “Let it Go” Frozen parody, “Let It Tank” — as sung by Kobe Bryant — for the last hour, and it’s incredible.

First off, Kobe’s soaring voice — done by Garth Taylor — is incredible. The animation and lyrics by Craig & Adam Malamut are perfect.

Here are a few examples of the lyrics, which lampoon all the Lakers flotsam over the last two years and condenses it into the perfect song:

“Let it tank, Let it tank
Get a pick hopefully top 5
Let it tank, let it tank
Without Phil, why even try?

[…]

My power forward broke his shin in his first game
Now I could not even tell you half of our players names
And one thought bulges like a disc inside Steve Nash
No more back-to-backs
The past is in the passssssssst.”

[…]

Let it tank, let it tannnnk
I’ll never get that sixth
Let it tank, let it tannnnk
Dwight Howard‘s a soft-a** bitch.”

Then there’s Jeremy Lin‘s brief cameo…as a snowman?

Carlos Boozer shows up as the “Mambacopter” pilot, and then there’s the collection of famous Lakers fans (i.e. Jack Nicholson, Ice Cube and the sunglasses indoors Lakers fan you love to hate). That’s just the animation, too.

Then there’s the closing scene where Kobe jumps on his Mambacopter and sails off into the LA night:

Really, the whole thing is a tremendous feat, so check it out, and remember you’re probably going to be humming “Let it Tank” to yourself for the rest of the day: