Lacking LeBron James, Stephen Curry, James Harden, Russell Westbrook, Blake Griffin, Chris Paul, and a number of other notable NBA superstars, the most recent iteration of Team USA is still a heavy favorite to win the gold in Rio de Janeiro this August, and make America the Olympics’ best at basketball yet again. Behind the efforts of Kevin Durant, Klay Thompson, Carmelo Anthony and Co., they’re also still very likely to win each game by an average of at least 20 points or so.
The relatively weak talent pool of this year’s squad, however, has us wondering just how cocky coach Mike Krzyzewski and his staff could get in constructing a roster. How much worse could an exclusively American group be, and still win top honors? Here’s our best guess for the worst USA team for Rio 2016 Basketball that could still take home the gold.
Point Guards: Mike Conley, Reggie Jackson
Conley would be arguably the best player on this team. Recent recipient of the largest payday in league history, the repeatedly underrated Memphis Grizzlies point guard has nevertheless never cracked an All-Star squad or All-NBA honors. Conley is sure-handed, methodical, crafty, and — most important of all — smart. While we can drop pretty far down the talent pole and still be safe at most positions, having someone at least as good as Conley at the position that touches the ball most often is important, even against all the sorta-schlubs he’ll be facing.
Behind Conley, Reggie Jackson would try to keep his frequently flaring lust for glory tempered under the Olympic lights, and provide enough scoring bursts and pick-and-roll touch to keep France and Spain on their feet.
Shooting Guards: C.J. McCollum, Danny Green, Victor Oladipo
A few years from now, McCollum may end up being too good for a list of barely-good-enough USA ballers. But right now he’s still only two years deep into his NBA career, and growing at a rapid clip. Like Conley, he’ll likely suffer for a long time in terms of household-name territory, due to playing in the stacked Western Conference in the same backcourt as Damian Lillard. But he can set nets on fire, and always comports himself with the kind of gentleman vibe that Krzyzewski, his replacement Gregg Popovich, and Team USA director, Jerry Colangelo, are all looking for.
Green, a champion with the San Antonio Spurs, would fit right into a culture of prestige, too, but would also be the first NBA player on Team USA to be cut from the league multiple times.
Victor Oladipo would thrive in the context of fast-paced, open-court showmanship that the Americans usually ride toward the gold, exhausting the enemies with athleticism and strength. Plus, ‘Dipo gives a crap on defense, something Coach K, Popovich and anyone else associated with USA Basketball absolutely loves.
Small Forwards: Jae Crowder, Gordon Hayward, DeMarre Carroll
All of these guys are the kind of two-way utility belt players who thrive internationally, and each could probably bump up to power forward duty, as well, against many adversaries. All three can can get up and down the floor better than most men with their length and size, and can make three-pointers at a good clip.
Plus, as mentioned for shooting guards, defense is a big part of what Carroll and Crowder do, and Hayward isn’t a slouch in that department either. This team has the capability to be a lockdown unit.
Power Forwards: Taj Gibson, Thaddeus Young
Here we have the weakest position on the roster, but we’re still rolling with two team-first guys who can work hard, do the little things, make the open jumpers they’d receive, and who are still big enough to play bully ball against a lot of foes. Gibson and Young are both consummate character guys, too, who would keep the team’s younger, more party-inclined fellows on a reasonably strict regiment.
Centers: Hassan Whiteside, Mason Plumlee
Speaking of younger and more party-inclined, no member of this team would be more controversial than the mercurial Whiteside, who has long been a great annoyance to NBA front offices. A 7-footer with enough hops and agility to make any scout blush, Whiteside is also a pain in the gluteus who often cares more about block stats than proper defensive schemes, and is prone to anger and ego issues that affect his play. Still, he’s just too much better than the rest of the world’s bigs not to have his way.
Mason Plumlee has played with Team USA at FIBA before — a roster choice that had many pointing to his Duke affiliations — and would no doubt do his job with (ahem) aplomb here, too.
What do you think? Could we do better with this strangely motivated roster selection? Or…. worse?
