A Kung Fu Movie Starring a Thalidomide Baby. No, Really.

Yes, this is a Kung Fu movie starring a Thalidomide flipper baby. And before you get all self-righteous about me calling him a flipper baby, keep in mind, one of the actual titles in the trailer below refers to the lead actor as “Bruce Willis with flippers.” Also, the title of the film is “Kung Fu Flid.” Holy hell. If you know what “flid” means, that’s basically the equivalent of calling it “Heavy Metal Mongoloid.” (Starring Jackie Chan with extra chromosomes!)

WATCH. THIS. IMMEDIATELY. In the meantime, it seems I have a script to write.

You might notice that it’s nearly impossible to understand what anyone’s saying. That’s because most of the actors were born with a rare congenital birth defect known as “Being British.”

This was made in 2009. I’m still waiting for the sequel, “Parkour Palsy.”

Stars British actor/martial artist Mat Fraser. Additional Trivia: His favorite band is T. Rex.

Now I’m Not Even Joking Trivia: In addition to being a martial artist, performance artist, and actor, Kung Fu Flid star Mat Fraser “between 1980 and 1995 was a drummer with several rock bands including Fear of Sex, The Reasonable Strollers, Joyride, The Grateful Dub, and Living in Texas, the latter of which had a number one single in Italy.” [Wikipedia]

You learn something new every day. A million thanks to Fightlinker for discovering this.

They say Matt Fraser has more talent in two flippers than the drummer for Def Leppard has in his entire arm.