Seymore Butts Wins AVN Clever Title Award For ‘Cirque Du Hole A’

As I’ve mentioned, I attended the AVN Awards – also known as the Oscars of porn – in Las Vegas over the weekend, and I’ll have your full write up as soon as I’m un-hungover enough to write it (I blame Colin Kaepernick and his inconsistent accuracy down the stretch). In the meantime, I bring you news of the only AVN award that really matters to the sex-pun loving FilmDrunk readership, the clever title award. For which the nominees were:

Cirque du Hole-A, Seymore Butts/Pure Play

Cray Cray Vajayjay, Black Storm/Monarchy/Vantage

Come on Mom, Zero Tolerance Entertainment

Cream Filled Japanese Fur Burgers, Third World Media

Gag Gift, Red Light District/Pulse

Gone BlackNot Coming Back, Sticky Video

London Bitches Falling Down, Porno Dan/Pure Play

Look Dad, I’m in Porn!, Team Skeet/Pulse

Misleadeing Teenagers Into Anal Sex, Anal Industries/Juicy

My Hairy Sugar Walls, AMK Empire/Exile

My Pussy Ain’t Gonna Lick Itself, Hustler Video

Pump’r in the Dumper, Pink Visual/Pulse

Slut Bottom Chris Meets the Prostate Assassins, Severe Society Films

Trustfund Trannies, SMC/Pulse

Vags With Badges, Lethal Hardcore/Pulse

They’re all winners in my heart, especially London Bitches Falling Down. But according to the official AVN tally, the winner was Seymore Butts’ Cirque du Hole-A. Fittingly, the winner was the only nominee to have been a guest on the FilmDrunk Frotcast. Let this be a lesson to pornographers everywhere.

The synopsis for Cirque du Hole-A, which stars the very talented Mari Possa, Jayda Diamonde, Riley Evans, Joslyn James, Phoenix Marie, Jada Stevens, and Cece Stone, goes as follows:

Seymore Butts Presents: The Greatest Buttholes On Earth. Witness the amazing pogo-dick trick! You’re the class clown if you miss this one! Anal acrobatics! Ferocious pussies tamed! Sphinctacular stunts!

I find the best way to tame a ferocious pussy is with a bullwhip and a wooden chair, but only after you’ve agreed on a safe word. Mine’s “McConaughey.” Congratulations, Seymore.