Ben Affleck Will Play Batman in the Man of Steel Sequel

DRAWP YOAH SAWX AND GRAB YA SAWX HAT, THIS IS NAWT A DRILL. Ben Affleck, critically-acclaimed, 41-yeah-rold directah of such Oscah dahlings as The Town and Ahgo has been cast as BATMAN awpposite Henry Cavill in the sequel to Man of Steel. Oh gawd, my cawk is so plump right now. …HEY, FACK YOU, CHAHLENE, MAYBE YOAH THE QUEAH!

Ben Affleck will join Henry Cavill in Warner Bros.’ Man of Steel sequel, the studio announced on Thursday.

The project was announced at Comic-Con earlier this year, prompting much speculation surrounding who would play the caped crusader. Zack Snyder is back in the director’s chair for the project, which places Batman and Superman together on the big screen for the first time.

The film is slated to open worldwide on  July 17, 2015. [THR]

HE IS NAWT THE DAHK KNIGHT GAWTHAM WANTS, HE’S THE DAHK KNIGHT THAT’S GONNA LEAVE THIS WHOLE FACKIN TOWN IN HIS REAHVIEW!

I’m sorry, this news caught me so off guard that I could only respond in crude vernacular. What a strange choice. Affleck playing Batman reminds me too much of Clooney playing Batman, which was not a good thing. He’s not unathletic, but he’s kind of oafy. Galootish, even. Can you imagine Ben Affleck sneaking up on anyone? His glow-in-the-dark porcelain veneers would give him away every time. Ben Affleck doing ninja shit is about as believable as Tom Cruise playing offensive line.