Tila Tequila Knows the Truth About Paul Walker’s Death

So I hadn’t been paying much attention to Tila Tequila since she got pelted with rocks and bags of poop at The Gathering of the Juggalos a few years back. And, frankly, “not much” is probably the correct amount of attention to pay Tila Tequila. That said, she seems to be in the midst of some sort of Anti-Semitic meltdown (the most entertaining of meltdowns).

Most recently, she claims she knows the secret to Paul Walker’s ritualistic murder (I don’t know much about ritualistic murder, but blowing up a $200,000 car seems like a pretty baller ritual). Somehow, Tequila says, Walker’s death is connected to the mysterious death of Elisa Lam, whose body was found inside the water tank at an LA hotel, where a few lucky patrons got to shower with the actual corpse water. Tequila also writes that Lam’s “ritual murder was directly linked to my ritual murder last year.”

That’s right, as Josh Kurp pointed out a few months back, Tequila claims to have died seven times. Which would make her a great celebrity death pool pick, she could pay off over and over. In any case, the Paul Walker death rumor led us to some other Tila Tequila posts, which seem to have taken the short jump from hollow moon theory and the illuminati to THE JEWS DID IT! As evidenced by recent posts such as “A Jewish Defector Warns America,” “The ‘CHOSEN PEOPLE’ were actually chosen by the Synagogue of Satan,” “The Synagogue of Satan hates me and will try to discredit me in every possible way because I am God’s Warrior,” and in case that was too ambiguous, “Why I Sympathize With Hitler Part 1” (Ooh, I smell album title!).

Hot damn, that is some powerful crazy. Now, I’m sure there are many of you out there who will say that she’s just doing all of this as a stunt for attention, but even so, the fact that she’s promoting her skanky music videos right alongside rants about the elders of zion and graphics of Bill Clinton and Bill Gates sacrificing babies is an interesting comment on our times in itself. I mean, even if she’s doing this all as a cynical ploy to exploit a market, it kind of says something that she thinks there’s a market.

Thanks to Alison Stevenson for sending me down this rabbit hole.