The guy who played Bane is playing Elton John in a biopic

I don’t know if it was Ray or Walk the Line or The King’s Speech that did it, but Hollywood’s obsession biopics has officially gotten out of hand. I was hoping that petrified turd The Iron Lady might finally kill it, but no such luck, and now, in addition to three competing Lance Armstrong biopics, a Freddie Mercury biopic, competing Jimi Hendrix biopics, Princess Diana, Julian Assange, Liberace, etc. etc., we’re apparently getting a biopic of flamboyantly gay pianist Elton John, starring Tom Hardy, an actor best known for playing jacked murderers. I imagine it will be very painful… for you.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

New Focus Features CEO Peter Schlessel is making Elton John biopic Rocketman a priority as he takes over the reins of the specialty division.

Starring Tom Hardy as the legendary performer, the Rocket Pictures biopic is the first FilmDistrict title that Schlessel is bringing with him and slotting on Focus’ slate. FilmDistrict, the distribution entity co-founded by Schlessel, ponied up a hearty $10 million this summer for U.S. rights to Rocketman, which John is executive producing.

Casting angular handsome buff guy Tom Hardy as the round, pudgy Elton John seems like less of a problem than the fact that ELTON JOHN IS STILL ALIVE AND TOURING. I’m pretty sure the jury is still out on his legacy. What’s next, a biopic about the Coldplay guy?

Michael Gracey is set to start shooting Rocketman in fall 2014 from an original screenplay by Lee Hall (War Horse). Elton John will re-record many of his iconic hits to parallel the emotional beats of the film.

Wait, so it’s not only a premature biopic but also a jukebox musical? With Elton John repurposing his own songs like he did with “Candle in the Wind?” If they got Katherine Heigl involved somehow this would be the perfect storm.

If they’re dead set on doing an Elton John movie, it’s never too late to try it with an all-dog cast. Piano Bud, they could call it.