Forget Coldplay, this is the worst Super Bowl halftime show ever

Look, the Coldplay halftime performance was terrible. We all know it! Never before or since has the main act felt so shoehorned into their own show, and no amount of Day Glo colors and wild stage-spinning by Chris Martin could make up for that (though in fairness, no one could really be expected to compete with Beyonce).

And yet it still wasn't as bad as the 1995 Super Bowl halftime show, a mega-extravaganza produced by Disney to promote their forthcoming Indiana Jones Adventure ride at Disneyland. Cue Halloween Store Indy, a Marion Ravenwood who's been transformed into a shrieking, one-note damsel in distress (“Indyyyyyyy!” she exclaims over and over and over again), drummers wearing snake costumes made out of cardboard, Patti Labelle doing some of the worst lip-syncing I've ever seen, a thematically-incongruous Lion King song and that riveting, showstopping force of nature Tony Bennett injecting some of his famed high-energy theatrics into the mix. (“This is so exciting,” he croons, unconvincingly.) It's truly horrid, and you can read a full accounting of how it came together over at The Bleacher Report.