The Best Boozy Egg Nogs Blind Tasted & Ranked

We’re in the thick of egg nog season!

There’s a chill in the air, Christmas cheer all around, and there are few drinks as fine-tuned for enjoyment at this time of year than a good, boozy egg nog. All of those delicious winter spices work so well with the flavors present in whiskey and brandies, so we don’t blame you if you’re looking to fill your mug with the real Christmas spirit with that familiar creamy, seasonal drink full of nutmeg, cinnamon, and the good stuff.

So, what egg nog should you be looking to stock up on this winter? You’re in luck because we decided to set up a timely blind tasting to find the cream of the crop!

For this blind tasting, I grabbed six bottles off the shelf of my local liquor store with only one mandate: they all had to say “egg nog” on the label. There are cream liqueurs and non-dairy nogs out there, and some of them are pretty good, but to remain faithful to this Christmas classic, only the genuine article will do. These were all purchased at a big-name chain store, so you needn’t worry about availability in your area, as these are all pretty easy to track down and buy.

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Here’s the final lineup:

    • • Evan Williams Original Southern Egg Nog

 

    • • Winterhaven Farms Egg Nog

 

    • • Pennsylvania Dutch Egg Nog

 

    • • Skrewball Peanutbutter Whiskey Egg Nog

 

    • • Two Stars Egg Nog

 

    • Old New England Classic Fresh Dairy Egg Nog

In the end, these were all ranked based solely on taste. All of these are only 30% alcohol or less, so the flavor of the underlying alcohol is secondary to how the drink overall works. Furthermore, nosing notes are nice in serious tastings, but for our purposes today, only the actual flavor of each egg nog was accounted for.

They were each judged, then, based on overall creaminess (too thick? too thin?), the level of winter spices present (how much nutmeg and/or cinnamon are we talking about?), overall richness (are the flavors one-note?), and flat-out enjoyability (is it too sweet, too boozy or just right?).

You may not waste too much time thinking about it, but all of those elements will ultimately make or break a good egg nog, and I know you only want the best of the best!

All aboard? Let’s get into it!

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Whiskey Posts

Part 1: The Tasting

Taste 1

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Tasting Notes:

What a great start! This one had a bit of cherry and cranberry on the nose, and on the palate, it was tasty and straightforward with an outstanding balance of creaminess, good vanilla flavor, and a healthy helping of nutmeg. Maybe there could have been more cinnamon flavor, but overall, it wasn’t too boozy, and I was really pleased with it.

If this were the only egg nog in the world, I’d be content.

Taste 2

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Tasting Notes:

On the nose of this one, I immediately picked up an abundance of peanut butter, which made it pretty clear which bottle this was. The sweetness and overt creaminess overwhelmed me on the first sip. This one is clearly meant to be a peanut-butter-infused dessert-like pour, but within the strict confines of serious egg nog tasting, it was a bit too much of a cloying outlier for my taste.

Taste 3

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Tasting Notes:

The nose was slightly tart, giving off some faint cranberry aromas and weak nutmeg. The palate, on the other hand? Whoa! This one featured a healthy helping of cinnamon spice to go with clove and nutmeg, and the texture of it was absolutely perfect. Not too thin, but not too thick, just full-bodied wintery goodness.

This one really hit the nail on the head, delivering everything that a classic egg nog should.

Taste 4

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Tasting Notes:

This is the bottle I spent the most time with…mostly because it smelled a bit like spoiled milk. Despite this, I warily brought the glass to my lips and discovered that it wasn’t spoiled…just atrociously bad. The alcohol ethanol was abundantly evident, and the texture was thin with very one note, weak flavors backing it up.

I don’t care how good you’ve been all year — if you left this stuff out for Santa Claus, he’d leave you with a big fat lump of coal.

Taste 5

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Tasting Notes:

This one had a surprising bit of nuttiness on the nose to go with faint cinnamon and nutmeg aromas. Once I took a sip, I was knocked sideways; this is good stuff! The nutmeg is front and center, and it has a nice, viscous creaminess with some really flavorful cinnamon on the finish.

It’s a bit more restrained than taste #3, which makes it a bit more of a crowd-pleaser and one that you shouldn’t overlook.

Taste 6

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Tasting Notes:

I only wrote two words for my nosing notes on glass #6: “Perfectly fine.” Once I tasted it, however, I had to be a bit more descriptive because while it remained “perfectly fine,” each of the flavors was well-developed and delightfully balanced. Cinnamon? Check. Nutmeg? Check. Creamy but not too creamy and boozy without being distractingly so.

I really enjoyed this one, but if I’m being critical, it was the most middle-of-the-road bottle in the bunch. Unlikely to offend anyone, but not particularly outstanding in any one way.

Part 2: The Ranking

6. Old New England Classic Fresh Dairy Egg Nog — Taste 4

Old New England

ABV: 15%
Average Price: $10

The Nog:

Brandy, blended whiskey, and rum make up the base of this egg nog, which they say is also made with “New England’s finest dairy.”

Bottom Line:

In the immortal words of Kevin McCallister, “Woof!” This one belongs on the naughty list for all eternity.

5. Skrewball Peanutbutter Whiskey Egg Nog — Taste 2

Screwball

ABV: 14.75%%
Average Price: $21

The Nog:

Skrewball is the original peanut butter flavored whiskey; for this one, they lean into what makes them unique. The brand, born in Ocean Beach, California, has won awards for that whiskey, and this peanut-butter-infused egg nog is one of their newer products.

Bottom Line:

While I can definitely see an audience for this one, given its peanut butter-heavy profile, this one just fell too far outside the classic profile of egg nog for me. Also, just judging it on the rest of the criteria, it did come across as both a bit thin and overwhelmingly creamy.

4. Evan Williams Original Southern Egg Nog — Taste 6

Evan Williams

ABV: 15%
Average Price: $14

The Nog:

Made with 7-year-old Kentucky Straight Bourbon from one of the best-selling whiskey brands in America, this egg nog has the most pedigreed alcohol base of any on this list. That high-quality bourbon base definitely shines through in the end product.

Bottom Line:

If I were betting on this race at the outset, this is the horse I would’ve lost my money on. While this egg nog was, frankly, really damn good, it wasn’t great in any one way, which is what kept it out of the top three, let alone the top spot.

It’s worth the price of admission, but surprisingly, there are better options out there.

3. Winterhaven Farms Egg Nog — Taste 5

Winterhaven Farms

ABV: 14.75%%
Average Price: $9

The Nog:

Using 100% natural double cream, fresh eggs, and a blend of rum, brandy, and whiskey, this egg nog is said to use “an old family recipe.” Who doesn’t have one of those? But your old family recipe probably doesn’t have a Platinum medal from the SIP Awards, which this bottle proudly boasts.

Bottom Line:

This one really impressed me, especially on the finish, where a commanding flourish of cinnamon really upped its flavor game. The creaminess level was perfect, and I’d definitely recommend this bottle.

2. Pennsylvania Dutch Egg Nog — Taste 1

Pennsylvania Dutch

ABV: 14.75%
Average Price: $10.50

The Nog:

Pennsylvania Dutch claims to be “the only eggnog using fresh whole eggs premixed with rum, brandy and whisky.” That, perhaps, makes it a little less shelf-stable, but using real ingredients in any premixed beverage tends to result in a higher-quality end product.

Bottom Line:

The nose on this egg nog (don’t laugh) was definitely my favorite of the bunch. It immediately put me in the mood for what was to follow, which was a lush, creamy egg nog with well-developed vanilla, nutmeg, and cinnamon flavors. This bottle narrowly edged out the egg nog in the number 3 spot and was only a hair below the one in the number one spot.

This leaves us with…

1. Two Stars Egg Nog — Taste 3

Two Stars

ABV: 12.5%
Average Price: $12

The Nog:

This “Spirits Direct” bottle from Total Wine uses bourbon, rum, and brandy for its alcohol kick. Of note is the fact that this is almost discernable from Total Wine’s “Ol’ Santy Egg Nog,” which comes in a much cooler package at a $2 discount, but what the hell? ‘Tis the season, so I decided to splurge on this one instead.

Bottom Line:

This egg nog easily had the best texture of the bunch, landing firmly in the Goldilocks zone, with a ton of the classic flavors you expect from a delicious mid-winter tipple of egg nog. If I could only buy one bottle on this list, it would be this one again and again.

Two Stars Egg Nog is the best bottle of egg nog money can buy.

Part 3: Final Thoughts

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While each bottle in the top four had commendable merits, Two Stars Egg Nog distinguished itself from the pack in impressive fashion. This blind tasting had surprises (I thought both Skrewball and Evan Williams would land nearer to the top), but that’s what made this so fun! This time of year features no shortage of cliched festive products looking to part you from your hard-earned money, but the great thing about these egg nogs is that they’re all super affordable and, for the most part, all pretty tasty (not you Old New England).

If you’re in need of a lot of egg nog this season, be sure to buy the big bottle of Winterhaven, Pennsylvania Dutch, or especially Two Stars Egg Nog. The difference in quality between them all is razor-thin, but you’ll be glad to have plenty of any of those on hand all winter long.