Life

Fear Not, Procrastinators! KFC Is Here For All Your Holiday Gift Needs

They’ve brought you limited edition sunscreen, nail polish, and Japanese bath bombs, but now KFC is poised to supply you and everyone you love the perfect winter holiday. We are talking apparel, home accessories, and even wrapping paper. It’s a shame that they aren’t selling trees as well, but as they would likely be chicken scented or something, maybe it really isn’t.

“Our finger lickin’ faithful deserve to celebrate the holidays by giving and receiving some fried chicken essentials,” said George Felix, director of advertising, KFC U.S. “You’ll spend less time shopping, leaving you more time to enjoy a $20 Fill Up with your family this holiday season.”

This is the second round of limited edition swag from the fried chicken masters via KFC Ltd., and the first time the brand has undergone a complete refresh since it was launched. The previous collection was solidly normcore and aimed to fill a void in the fried chicken merch market with items like decorative chicken socks and a yellow sweatshirt emblazoned with “Fried Chicken USA.” With this new round of accessories, apparel, and prints, things definitely feel wintery and vintage-inspired.

There are sheets of stickers that feature KFC menu items with little happy faces. They’re like Shopkins, but not for four-year-old girls. Our own Zach Johnston is down for the white mug with “morning gravy” written on it. If anyone is still going with the baller move of carrying a money clip, KFC would like you to upgrade to one with the Colonel’s face on it; plus, it has “Legal Tenders” engraved on the back. Forget Christmas sweaters and stick with a red, long-sleeved tee with Colonel Sander’s face adorned with a Santa hat front and center. And, the snapback cap with “fried chicken” written in Japanese is actually really cool.

Other new items include decorative pillows with a pattern of fried chicken wings and drums, a red tee with “it’s finger lickin’ good” on it, enamel pins with an 8-bit aesthetic, and photographic prints featuring the OG Colonel Sanders. Forget the imposters of late, this is the originator of the eleven secret herbs and spices doing things like frying chicken and riding a tractor.

As with all the items sold on KFC Ltd., once these items sell out they are gone for good, so it’s best to snap up what you want. You don’t want to spend your whole life pining over a missed connection with drumstick wrapping paper. You will end up wearing your pajamas for the rest of your life, hiding in your dusty mansion, and torturing a little poor boy from the village by tempting him with drumsticks.

If you want to receive your items by Christmas and live in the continental US, the last day to order is December 15. Otherwise, order whenever and tell people the prezzies are worth the wait.

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