A Very Serious Review Of The Szechuan Sauce Worth Rioting Over

02.27.18 1 year ago 12 Comments


Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the song of angry men?
It is the music of the people.

Every once in a while, in history, an event happens that is so heinous, and so unjust that people riot in the streets, and cry for revolution. Like, for instance, imagine if McDonald’s were to promise a certain famous chicken dipping sauce and then…Not. Deliver. Imagine the battle cries that would be sung out as the people rose up, and burned every last McDonald’s to the ground. Or at least… the Twitter cries. But like, still… with actual riots.

It all started with the TV show, Rick and Morty, as most revolutions do. They say that the American Revolution was based on season one of Rick and Morty. At least, that’s the legend, and also, it’s written into several paragraphs of the Declaration of Independence. It’s truly a cult TV show. When people say a “cult” TV show, they generally mean it facetiously. Not so, with Rick and Morty. Those fans would drink the Szechuan flavored Koolaid any time, any place.

The origin of the fans’ obsession with the McDonald’s dipping sauce began in season three when Rick broke into a feverish, unhinged monologue in which he revealed that a limited release Szechuan dipping sauce (that McDonald’s made in 1998 in conjunction with the Disney movie, Mulan) is his character’s entire motivation.

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Fans began begging McDonald’s to rerelease the sauce so they could try it themselves. Because how could they not want to try the sauce that was both “f**king amazing” and also, promoting a movie? McDonald’s joined in on the fun, and, after teasing everybody by sending an awfully cute letter to the Rick and Morty creators that included a whole bottle of the Szechuan sauce, McDonald’s decided to release the sauce as a promotion for fans in October.

Except…they did so in comically low numbers, 20-40 packets in just a few stores. The people who had literally driven hours, and stood in line since 4am, only to be told that only a handful of packets ever existed, were….unhappy, to say the least. Police-had-to-be-brought-in levels of unhappy. And riots aside, people went crazy for the sauce financially too. Packets were sold online for hundreds of dollars, one bottle was bought for several thousand, and another was TRADED FOR A CAR.

I get it. When you want a food thing, You. Should. Get. It. Once I went to a food truck for an egg sandwich and they were out of eggs and I cried. This is a normal feeling people have when they don’t get food and totally not a symptom of larger issues manifesting during smaller dissapointments.

Anyway, McDonald’s felt really bad about the whole thing, and by “really bad” I mean the executives paraded whomever had thought it would be funny to run a promotion that would create a frenzy while offering too little product around the office on their shoulders because it led to a ton of free press and buzz for the next time. Then they promised the public that they would re-rerelease the sauce this winter.

And GOOD NEWS, STARKS, Winter has come.

I’ve never seen Rick and Morty, but I love standing in extremely long lines because I think it leads to unlikely friendships. So I figured I should head down to McDonald’s to try the sauce when it premiered this Monday.

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