Can you imagine what Boogie Nights would have been like if Gwyneth Paltrow was cast as the iconic “Rollergirl?” Yeah, me neither — but that’s a reality that sadly almost existed. On the Howard Stern Show this morning, Ms. Paltrow discussed some of the roles she passed on (including Kate Winslet’s part in Titanic) and gave her reasoning for passing on Boogie Nights. Apparently it all boiled down to onscreen nudity and blowjobs. She says:
My grandfather, I was very, very close to him. And he was, you know, pretty conservative — and I just thought, I can’t be totally naked, and like, giving a BJ on screen. Like, I’ll kill my grandfather! So, yeah, I didn’t do it.
In other Gwyneth Paltrow blowjob-related news, elsewhere in the interview Howard asked her about that famous relationship advice she supposedly gave Chelsea Handler about making blowjobs, not war with your significant other. But when Howard asked her point blank whether or not she practices what she preaches, Goopy expertly dodged the question. LIES. I think we all know what’s going on here. Madame Gwyneth Paltrow does not “do” blowjobs. She does not give them for a part, she did not give them to the Chris Mart … in. Sorry, I couldn’t fit his whole name into the rhyme.