Last week, LeBron James attended the Dwayne Wade Fantasy Basketball Camp in South Florida with comedian Kevin Hart (and other celebrities, I’m sure) and the reason I’m bringing this up is because there probably isn’t much about the self-proclaimed King’s life that us average folk wouldn’t consider to be a fantasy.
For example, I have a lot of friends who went to the Jay and Justin Timberlake concert in Miami this weekend. I would have gone, but I was under the impression they boycotted Florida. In any case, I’m glad I didn’t go, because I hate the traffic in Miami so much, and James posted an example of how awful it is to his Instagram account.
Thank goodness he got that police escort to drive him down the wrong way of a major street so he wouldn’t be late for the concert. I can only hope that next time the medevac helicopter isn’t being used on some shmuck who was dying, so James and his friends could make it to the concert in appropriate style.
Fox Football Daily – 6 PM ET on Fox Sports 1
I am not, for lack of a better term, enjoying Fox Sports 1 so far. Almost everything about the new network, save for the UFC coverage, seems sloppy and unprepared. That would be fine if this was an upstart network in 1991, started by a couple guys in their garage, but this is a Fox property and it should be better than this. Admittedly, I also can’t take anything that involves Donovan McNabb offering analysis seriously, because he just has no business trying to be an expert. I still have high hopes, but rough start, folks.
Also, if you saw any of the commercials for FS1’s original shows, you may remember the spot that had the short dude above (third from the right, on the left of Standard Fox Blonde) talking about how he always dreamed of being a professional athlete, but he’s only 5-foot-1. According to that image, that makes McNabb 5-foot-5.
Little League World Series: U.S. Elimination Game – 8 PM ET on ESPN 2
What if instead of just eliminating one team from the Little League World Series, we eliminated that entire state? Like, a team from Illinois loses and President Obama hosts a press conference that Illinois is now its own country. That would be pretty cool.
Monday Night Football Preseason: Steelers at Redskins – 8 PM ET on ESPN
I’m eager to see this Le’Veon Bell guy play. Everyone keeps telling me that he’s this year’s Alfred Morris and my response is, “THERE’S ONLY ONE ALFRED MORRIS! DON’T YOU EVER DARE SPEAK ILL OF THE NATURAL!”
I like Alfred Morris.
WWE Monday Night Raw – 8 PM ET on USA
I do not know what happened on SummerSlam last night, so I will assume that John Cena will come out to a mild reception but he’ll act like the crowd gave him a Mick Foley pop, and he’ll pose for about five minutes before finally talking. And then Daniel Bryan will come out and they’ll argue, and then Ariane will come out and interrupt them to demand to know who stole her breast implant, which is my new gimmick for her that I am expecting to catch on, because it’s awesome.
MLB: Red Sox at Giants – 10 PM ET on ESPN 2
I woke up this morning oblivious to Ryan Dempster having beaned Alex Rodriguez last night, because I was watching Total Divas and True Blood for my UPROXX punishment, I mean work, instead.
I read that plenty of people were pissed off about this for whatever reasons, and that’s their right. I don’t care. Bean him until he’s out of baseball. Bean all the cheaters and then bean the men who bean them. Bean everyone.
