Charlie Sheen Called Farrah Abraham A ‘Desperate Guzzler Of Stagnant Douche Agua’

So apparently Farrah Abraham sent Charlie Sheen some texts about maybe hanging out and setting up a “play date” for their kids or something, and then after he replied she sent their whole conversation to TMZ because LOOKATMESOMEBODYLOOKATMEANYONEPLEASEPLEASE. This made Charlie Sheen angry, so he retaliated by sending her a message where he called her a “desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua” because GRRRRRWINNINGTIGERBLOODWINNING. Those are all the words I can write about this situation without spitting at my computer screen, so I’m just going to post the dumb thing he sent her now.

hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;

I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.

your daughter must be so proud.

please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.

oh and I’m sure they’ll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o’clock shadow.

bye!
cs.

Everything about this story is terrible. Here is a Parry Gripp video. Have a great day.