I could sum up the season finale of Under The Dome in words, but why bother? Here’s a GIF of an enraged Laker that does it so much better.
Really, you just need the one. But I have been informed that I actually need to provide some commentary and actually explain why I used this GIF. Seriously, this is some “Lost finale” grade B.S.
Essentially, the show opens with Barbie in jail, and everybody acting exactly like the idiots we’ve all known and started to kind of dislike over the last season. Julia is still a crusading dolt, Big Jim is increasingly cartoonish, Junior is still a psycho jackass, the Dome Four still have to tell us the things we’re seeing onscreen, and Linda is still an idiot. Nobody in Chester’s Mill seems to notice, or care, that Big Jim has taken complete control of the town and is going to kill Barbie for reasons that make no sense whatsoever. Consider that the episode opens with a problem that could have been solved with a video camera, like maybe on one of those handy Windows 8 phones they keep showing us in close-up.
Then the Dome goes black, and everybody’s brain shuts off. Oh, and the egg brings back Hipster Glasses, because we missed her all so, so much.
This episode had precisely two highlights; Barbie kicking the ever-loving hell out of half of Chester’s Mill with his hands literally behind his back, although sadly he doesn’t go all Muay Thai on Junior. But at least Phil gets the roundhouse dope-slap he richly deserves. And then there’s Linda, asserting her authority just in time to get Dome-punched, which after thirteen episodes was the best laugh I’ve had all season. Seriously, Linda, why are you letting the town be taken over by the drug dealer again?
The season doesn’t end so much as just stop. The pink stars start falling, the dome goes white, we have a cut to the outside and now… it’s pure white! Like an egg!
That’s it. That’s all you get. Until next summer, everything is literally in a state of limbo. We’ll let Wilfred take this one.
Some final thoughts:
- My antenna went out in a few places, but if they didn’t verbally announce Julia was pregnant, they sure implied it with the subtlety and grace this show tends to pack. Egg next to stomach: SUBTLE. Butterfly circling Barbie before landing on egg next to Julia’s stomach: SUPER SUBTLE.
- This episode’s most nonsensical character: Phil. Yeah, a Black guy would totally be down for an obvious lynching.
- Bryan K. Vaughan had better have gotten a nice house out of this.
- Damn this show for making me enjoy something directed by Len Wiseman, namely the Sleepy Hollow premiere, a lot more. It may have been a bit overhyped, but at least it had narrative motion and a headless guy with a shotgun.
Let us know what you thought, preferably through GIFs, in the comments.
