(Note: to help clear up the discussion thread congestion, we’re publishing two Game of Thrones recaps this season, one for book readers and one for non-book readers. Doing it this way means those who have read A Storm of Swords and A Feast for Crows don’t have to begin every conversation with “SPOILER,” or those who haven’t won’t need to worry about learning something they shouldn’t.)
In the ninth episode of season one of Game of Thrones, Ned Stark lost his head. In season two, “Blackwater.” Season three, “The Rains of Castamere.” Now we have “The Watchers on the Wall,” the show’s most expensive episode yet, and probably the weakest of The Penultimates (any excuse to use that word). There was a lot to like, but ultimately, it all comes down to Jon Snow.
Compared to Arya and Tyrion and Davos and Jaime and pretty much every other main character, Jon is fairly bland — he looks and acts like he was designed by Tumblr, and the planning stopped there. He’s got a interesting back story to draw upon, but so much of his time on-screen is spent either moping, or unconvincingly yelling at people to do things; he’s a drip of a hero. That’s why viewers responded so positively to Ygritte, because not only is Rose Leslie awesome, but she’s a wild spark, someone whose mere presence made Jon Snow more interesting. But now she’s gone, and her last scene didn’t have the emotional weight it should have. One of my minor complaints for this season has been knowing that Ygritte’s death was coming, and the show spending so little time with her. I think she was on-screen for longer in her campfire showdown with the Thenns than she was this entire season.
But! There was a lot of stuff I loved in “Watchers,” too, especially Neil Marshall’s directing. He once again found a way to make a TV show budget look like a movie. The scope of the Wall, the giants, the mammoths, the brutality of the violence, it was a great, well paced episode to LOOK at, especially when the camera circled around the action, checking in on the individual fights, and the direwolf POV. Shots from atop the Wall are neat, but when you’re looking way down or way up, it’s less about the inherent drama of people fighting for their lives than it is the visual, and “Watchers” was too often all visual.
Ultimately, this was a technically impressive episode that felt hollow. Even Jon admits this was a tiny battle, especially when compared to what happened in “Blackwater,” which affected nearly EVERYONE on the show. (It helps that “Blackwater” also had a definitive ending, not Jon looking for Luke on Hoth — the battle in the books ended very differently.) I loved the spectacle of “The Watchers on the Wall,” and especially the motherf*cking giants riding motherf*cking mammoths and OMG a scythe, but I’m not sure I’ll ever have the urge to watch it again. Jon’s too much of a know-nothing.
More thoughts on the next page.
-All the reasons I don’t care for Jon are why I enjoy Sam so much. He’s as close to a character stand-in for the audience the show has, of course, but there’s an actual interesting arc there. He’s book smart but he needs to learn how to be street smart, so to speak, in order to survive. His little “nothing at all” speech was great because it was a cleverly worded representation of how much he’s evolved as a character, and it reminded me of Stupid Sexy Flanders.
-Also, dude’s gotta get laid. Or at least have some fun with Gilly’s feet.
-An ode to Ygritte: no one could fire a flaming arrow better, no one could take off their clothes in a cave better, no one could challenge a man twice her size better, no one could make references to periods sound like threats better, no one could say the word “f*ck” better. You deserved better.
-In case you’ve forgotten, because I’m pretty sure it hasn’t been mentioned since season one, Maester Aemon is actually Aemon Targaryen, and at one point, he could have claimed the Iron Throne but he declined, and it went to his younger brother, Aegon. He’s also Daenerys’ great-uncle.
-Going back to something I said earlier: the Wall is incredibly important to the show and the universe it takes place in. Hell, it’s maybe the MOST important thing. I love the idea, and I really like it in the books. It’s just that the secondary Night’s Watch characters are much more interesting than our hero, and I wish we had spent more time with them. It still feels like the Wall’s true potential hasn’t been tapped into yet.
-He’s no Pod, but he’s still pretty cool.
-Jon doesn’t slay Tormund Giantsbane, he captures him. Good thing, too. You don’t kill a guy with a beard that awesome.
-How many different people were in charge at the top of the Wall? First it was Alliser Thorne, then Janos Slynt, then Jon, then finally Dolorous Edd. YOU GUYS HAVE ONE JOB.
-RIP Grenn, RIP Pyp, RIP Ginger Minge, RIP Styr.
And Now, the Creepiest Piece of Jon/Ygritte Fan Art I Could Find
It haunts me.