What in the actual f*ck, American Horror Story? Okay, before we even dive into this week’s recap, can we just briefly discuss how the teaser for this week’s episode contained mostly scenes that did not even happen in this week’s episode? Ethel didn’t even have any screen time in the episode at all, and as far as I can remember Del did not have any speaking lines. I don’t know who is to blame here, Ryan Murphy or the network, but that is just plain sloppy.
Now, as far as what I liked here and what I didn’t. For the past couple of episodes they had been hinting at Twisty, the horrifying murder clown, being a sympathetic character. That’s quite a feat to set out on and it says a lot that they were able to not only pull it off successfully, but with the emotional punch that it packed — I’ll get more to that in a bit. What I didn’t like was that they killed off their main antagonist just four episodes into the season!
So what, now Dandy is the main antagonist? The thing that made Twisty so terrifying, besides his face and the murdering with the stabby thing, is the mystery that surrounded him and the implied internal struggle of good vs. evil. Dandy Mott is not scary. Dandy Mott is a caricature. On a rating scale of villains Dandy Mott comes in somewhere between a shart and Montana Max from Tiny Toons. I’m willing to be optimistic but this does not bode well for the rest of the season.
There weren’t as many WTF moments in last night’s episode, which uniquely focused on just a couple of storylines that all ended up intertwining together, rather than the usual format that juggles various plot points over the course of the episode. Being that this structure also wrapped up a couple of main storylines, again, just four episodes into the season — while introducing only one new one (the arrival of Denis O’Hare’s grifting Hollywood talent scout) — I’m curious to see where they plan to go from here, just one-third of the way in.
Does The Puppy Go Pee Pee?
So the whole Edward Mordrake arc ended up being a pretty convenient plot contrivance to learn the back-stories of some of the major characters in this season. In Elsa’s case, she started off her career as a dominatrix in the “sexual chaos” of 1932 Berlin. I’m pretty glad I couldn’t actually find a gif of her making a German soldier sit down on a toilet seat covered in nails, impaling his ass, because that was the only time I had to look away from the screen last night. 1930’s Berlin is like LOL at the United States 2010’s Fifty Shades of Grey.
About Elsa’s Legs . . .
However it’s when Mordrake pushes Elsa to learn her true darkness that we learn what happened to her legs, and it was not anything as pleasant as say, getting cut off by a train in the Dark Tower series. It’s only then that Elsa finally concedes to her true “freak-ness” and willingly offers her life to Mordrake. But since he ended up letting her go free, Elsa obviously decides to reassess her life and turn over a new leaf. Hahaha of course not, because she later completely falls for the first person who walks into the freak show pretending to be a Hollywood talent scout.
RIP Twisty
Oh my god, Twisty’s backstory absolutely slayed me. HE JUST WANTED TO BE LOVED, YOU GUYS. I’ve never felt sadder for a character that effectively scared the f*cking shit out of me just weeks ago. I expected his backstory to be a sob story, but I was in no way prepared for the hole in his face to have been a self-inflicted suicide attempt after he was driven away from doing the only thing that he ever loved and labeled a pedophile. People are dirt, I’d go on a killing spree too.
So now we also know why he didn’t kill Gloria or Dandy outright, because he had a vendetta against that prick toy store owner (good riddance) and the coonskin cap kid’s mom who ridiculed him and his homemade toys. If it’s any consolation Twisty, if you had only been alive 60 years in the future you could have sold that sh*t on Etsy and made bank.
Poor Twisty. I hope he has a happy afterlife traveling around with Mordrake and his merry band of ghost freaks. When his spirit rose and his mouth was back to normal, did anyone else think of that scene in Babe: Pig in the City when the wheelchair dog briefly goes to doggy heaven and doesn’t need the wheelchair anymore? Crying.
Please Do not Put That On Your Face
Look Dandy, we’re all sad that Twisty is gone, but for the love of everything holy, DO NOT PUT THAT ON YOUR FACE. That mask was like a used band aid, only it was covering up a gigantic gunshot wound on a clown’s face. That’s just f*cking unsanitary. On the plus side the mask finally gave him the courage to, uh, kill the woman who cooked and cleaned for him. So, yay? The only difference being that the mask represented everything sad and tragic in Twisty’s life whereas Dandy is a spoiled asshole who has had everything in life handed to him on a silver platter and yet somehow he still turned out a sociopath.
See Dandy, you didn’t need the mask, you had the killing inside of you all along
And The Townspeople Rejoice
So it’s really nice that the townspeople have come around to the freaks even though all they had to do was save their children from a serial killer and now they’ve lifted the curfew, but they do realize that there were two suspects, right? Please tell me they understand this. At least five people can corroborate that there were two — not one — but two sadistic clowns and at least two of them saw the second clown without a mask on, who also happens to be the son of (probably) the wealthiest family in Jupiter.
Surely, someone can piece this together, yes?
I give up, enjoy the cupcakes. We’ll see how the town’s goodwill towards the freak show burns out next week, presumably, but I’m assuming it has something to do with Jimmy avenging Meep’s death.
