Moss from The IT Crowd wasn’t the most socially adept person in the world, but his heart was always in the right place. More importantly, throughout the show’s run, he gave us some truly glorious misunderstandings. With that in mind, let’s look at the best moments of Maurice Moss.
“I came here to drink milk and kick ass, and I’ve just finished my milk.”
First off, this is a fine inversion of the immortal quote from They Live. But more importantly, it’s a fine reminder that it’s always a good idea to get plenty of calcium. Also, it’s so perfect that Moss thinks “you’re lucky my ‘girlfriend’ has gone to the toilet” qualifies as an insult.
“Four! I mean five! I mean fire!”
Naturally, Moss responds to a fire by very calmly (and politely) sending out an email asking anyone if they can help. Though, it’s hard to blame him considering the number for emergency services is 31 digits long.
“Don’t disable the firewalls.”
Poor Moss — he’s giving a very important lesson about keeping the firewall in place so that the office computers don’t get infected with viruses, but the sight of a man jumping out of a window can’t help but distract everyone from his message. Naturally, he’s none the wiser the entire time.
“Thank you, my love.”
“Your name is Maurice Moss, is it not?” I don’t even know where to begin with this one. It’s natural that Moss, already not especially comfortable in social situations, would struggle with the idea of having to testify in front of a courtroom, but this was a bit far even for him. He’s completely incapable of answering a single question, and of course, he calls the judge “my love.” Next time you get called for jury duty, here’s a perfect way to get out of it.
“A plan! Let me put on my slightly larger glasses.”
Slightly larger glasses allow one to think clearer the same as ladies slacks instill confidence.
“Don’t ask me, I’m not a flipping woman’s psychiatrist!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF2svZ-mlPk
When Roy is suffering from a particularly bad breakup, Moss tries to console him by giving him some generic pleasantries of the “who understands women, anyway” variety. Of course, Moss is still trying to figure out how humans in general operate, but his efforts are noble just the same time. Still, they don’t seem to do much for poor Roy, especially after Moss reveals that the most important things he’s learned about women have all come from his mother.
