What.
A puppy survived for nearly a month locked inside an impounded vehicle at a Kansas City tow lot by foraging on leftovers in fast-food bags and, apparently, cigars.
CIGARS.
The scared dog is scrawny, but is expected to survive. The 12-week-old puppy was found inside a 1990 Chevrolet Suburban, but has been named Kia.
OKAY I DON’T KNOW WHY THEY NAMED THE PUPPY KIA IF IT WAS FOUND IN A HUGE CHEVROLET BUT I SUPPOSE I SHOULDN’T SPLIT HAIRS RIGHT NOW. MOVING ON.
“We will give her some proper medical care. She is very, very dehydrated and obviously very malnourished,” said Tori Fugate, spokeswoman for the Kansas City Pet Project, which operates the municipal animal shelter. “We will get some food in her.”
GIVE THIS DOG ALL THE MILKBONES SHE WANTS, TORI FUGATE.
The vehicle was filled with clothing, clutter and trash, which Rotert said made it impossible for the officers, tow driver or tow lot employees to see the dog. He speculated that the scared pup hid amidst the clutter and didn’t bark that night.
OH GOD I AM PICTURING THIS PUPPY SHIVERING UNDER A NEWSPAPER AND I AM HAVING FEELINGS.
“I am not sure how the dog miraculously survived its encampment,” Rotert said. “We are very happy Kia has found a foster home. We’re excited that she’s healthy and on the mend. It’s pretty miraculous, and we are so sorry that it happened.”
Good Lord. This reads like something out of the second act of the greatest Homeward Bound sequel ever. Except instead of the humans saving her, she’d pop the trunk with her paw and scoot out the back. Then she’d encounter the lot’s big mean guard dog and win him over, and the two of them would go on an adventure to get her home. There’s a sassy, stuck-up cat involved. Haven’t figured out how yet. Her name is Sandra.
We’ll leave out the cigar eating thing, though. Can’t give kids ideas.
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