Arizona Police Still Investigating Dong-Shooting

08.11.11 7 years ago 17 Comments

I posted this local news story the other day because (A) a man shooting himself in the penis with a pink gun is inherently funny, and (B) the man-on-street interviews are absolutely essential journalistic touches (“A bullet in your penis? That would hurt!”).

However, Chandler police find the dick-shooting of Joshua Seto no laughing matter, and are still looking into Seto and his fiancée, Cara Christopher. Apparently, investigators find it odd that Seto was in no obvious pain or distress after a bullet fired from a pink, 380-caliber, special edition breast-cancer awareness gun went through his penis and scrotum.

Meanwhile, police are warning armed residents to use holsters, not waistbands.

The movies and TV shows that show tough guys with guns shoved into their jeans are not realistic, Chandler police Detective Seth Tyler said Sunday. The cops and robbers of the silver screen most likely use rubber weapons, which weigh far less than the real things, Tyler said.

“Whenever you handle a firearm, whether you are a novice or experienced, always treat firearms as though they are loaded, said Tyler, a spokesman for the department. “If you are going to carry a handgun on your person, use a holster, not your waistband.” [AZ Republic]

AHAHAHAHAHA. “Use holsters, not waistbands.” The Chandler police went on to add, “There are a lot of little tricks to gun ownership, things you should have learned a long time ago. Such as, if you leave milk out, it can go sour. Put it in the refrigerator, or, failing that, a cool wet sack.” Arizona’s like the violent retard baby of Florida and Ohio.

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