Facts first: Buddy Valastro, star of TLC’s Cake Boss and the inspiration for one of the best characters on Comedy Bang Bang, was arraigned on drunk driving charges in Manhattan yesterday. According to prosecutors, Valastro was seen swerving through traffic between 20th and 32nd streets and allegedly admitted to police that he had “a few drinks” before getting in his 2014 Corvette.
There. You are caught up. Now we can get to the important stuff.
Police stopped Valastro near 10th Avenue after following him for a bit; they said he was unsteady on his feet when he stepped out of the vehicle. They say his face was flushed and his eyes were bloodshot. He allegedly failed a Breathalyzer test and was taken into custody.
Prosecutors say Valastro allegedly told arresting officers, “You can’t arrest me. I’m the Cake Boss,” and asked to be put into a cab. [NBC New York]
“You can’t arrest me. I’m the Cake Boss.”
“You can’t arrest me. I’m the Cake Boss.”
“You can’t arrest me. I’m the Cake Boss.”
This is, to be very clear, one of the greatest quotes I’ve ever read. Top ten, easy. I don’t care if it’s true. I will wish it into existence if it isn’t. It’s perfect.
It also raises an important question: What if … what if he’s right? What if there’s an obscure law on the books in New York that puts the reigning Cake Boss — whoever it is — above the law, like how ambassadors have diplomatic immunity? Make a Lethal Weapon sequel about THAT, Hollywood.
