Over two and a half years ago, Guy Fieri’s bright yellow Lamborghini (license plate: GUYTORO) was stolen from a high-end dealership in California’s Marin County. The story quickly went from hilarious — which it very much was, for the record — to completely surreal. The stolen Lambo was found by police in a nearby storage locker belonging to a 17-year-old named Max Wade, who police had followed there as part of an investigation into an attempted murder that featured a gunman spraying a pick-up truck with bullets and fleeing on a motorcycle. Once inside the storage locker, police found what would later be described as “a potpourri of gadgetry,” including “a dismantled AK-47 assault weapon, an assault-type shotgun, electronics that can interfere with cell phone frequencies and a list of scanner codes for a variety of California law enforcement agencies” as well as “a full San Francisco Police Department uniform, including a badge and duty belt and some bags, containers and a mask.” Wade was arrested and taken to Marin County Juvenile Hall.
While Wade was in juvie, two more amazing things happened: First, two people tried to break him out by cutting a hole in the fence and smashing through the walls with a sledgehammer; and second, two of his idiot friends released a rap video in which they posed in front of a bright yellow Lamborghini and rhymed a mismash of threats, accusations, and borderline admissions of guilt for a few minutes. There was a really great write-up of the whole affair in San Francisco magazine, covering everything from the crimes to his potential motivation — there was a girl, because there’s always a girl with 17-year-old boys — to stories about him breaking into unoccupied mansions to throw wild house parties. Highly recommended reading.
This all brings us to the present day. Or rather, yesterday, when Wade’s criminal trial came to a close with convictions on a number of counts, including auto theft, possession of stolen property, and attempted murder. (Vince at FilmDrunk actually attended the trial and filed a few dispatches, including one about Fieri’s testimony.) He’s now facing 20 years to life in prison for essentially living out a game titled Grand Theft Auto: Marin County. I’m going to assume this didn’t help his case:
Wade may have nevertheless sealed his own conviction for theft when he texted pictures of the stolen car and at one point texted to a friend, “doesn’t get any better than boosting a lambo and picking up chicks at 17.” [SF Gate]
It’s totally wild that all of this — a story about a burgeoning teenage supervillain who nearly escaped from juvie thanks to a sledgehammer-based breakout — started with Guy Fieri and his stupid yellow Lamborghini.