Chelsea Handler is celebrating her 40th birthday today, which means we can likely expect her to put a celebratory topless photo on Instagram any second now. We’ve seen quite a bit of Chelsea in the buff over the last few years, and with her reported $10 million Netflix deal, we’ll probably be seeing a lot more of her. I’m sure Netflix has a whole marketing team ready to roll out some flashy publicity ideas, but nothing can compete with brazen nudity.
It’s been quite a ride for Chelsea Handler’s breasts. They’ve made late night talk show appearances and fought for social media equality. In honor of her birthday, let’s take a look back at all the times she’s stripped down.
Chelsea goes nude for Allure magazine (May 2009)
Way back in 2009, Instagram was still just a social media dream, which mean that Chelsea would need to go old school if she wanted to world to ogle her naked body. Thus, this appearance in Allure magazine.
Chelsea lands on the cover of Playboy (December 2009)
Okay, this one is a bit of a head-scratcher. It’s Playboy, and Chelsea is on the cover, so one would naturally expect full-on birthday suit mode. I mean, that is Hugh Hefner’s whole deal, right? Surprisingly, Chelsea played it rather PG for her pictorial. Saving the good stuff for Twitter, I guess.
Sandra Bullock confronts Chelsea in her shower (October 2012)
If this had been 1994, my middle school brain probably would have exploded from the excitement of a Sandra Bullock shower scene. This was still pretty cool 18 years later, though.
Just some thong (April 2, 2013)
Not full on nudity, just some mid-flight thong action. Perhaps a teaser to Instagram followers of what was to come?
Chelsea gets nude with Conan in the shower (April 3, 2013)
Chelsea might have gotten away with stealing Conan’s studio and parking space, but he’ll be damned if she keeps him out of his former staff shower.
Chelsea mocks Kim Kardashian with… nudity! (Aug. 14, 2014)
Why should Kim Kardashian get all the critical praise for posing naked?! Surely, there are enough eyes out there in internet land that would like to see Chelsea Handler naked, too.
Chelsea gets a visit from Ellen in the shower (Aug. 26, 2014)
Maybe this celebrity shower party didn’t have quite the fantasy appeal that Sandra Bullock’s did, but you gotta admit that Ellen was really workin’ that shower cap/pantsuit combo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUYRYEPBD6o
Chelsea uses her boob to promote Town Hall (Oct. 7, 2014)
Was there a better way to get people to listen to her on SiriusXM’s Town Hall hosted by Dave Grohl? Possibly. But why waste the marketing dollars when one exposed boob can get the job done?
Chelsea uses her boobs to fight The Man, i.e. Instagram (Oct. 31, 2014)
Instagram was opening a can of worms when it tried to stifle Chelsea Handler’s rights to show her ta-tas over social media. If you want to look at Vladimir Putin’s nipples as he sits atop a horse, fine. But you have to look at Chelsea Handler’s nipples, too.
Chelsea takes her boobs into the jungles of the Amazon (Nov. 7, 2014)
This is what the new plot of Indiana Jones 5 looks like. No Harrison Ford, no bullwhips, not even a freaking fedora! Just Chelsea Handler cruising down the Amazon River topless.
Chelsea offers her take on Kim Kardashian’s Paper Magazine cover (Nov. 12, 2014)
If Kim Kardashian thinks she can break the internet without letting Chelsea Handler in on the glory, she’s got another thing coming. Even if Chelsea’s photo didn’t break the internet, I bet it at least pulled the employee who deletes nude pics off Instagram away from his or her lunch break. Sometimes, it’s about the small victories.
Chelsea searches for her dog atop a mountain (Dec. 29, 2014)
Holy sh*t, Chelsea lost her beloved dog Chunk on a snowy mountain top! Don’t worry, though. She took her boobs out and Chunk came a-running.
Chelsea takes her boobs on safari (Jan. 28, 2015)
Chelsea didn’t let her battle for nipple freedom on Instagram die off in 2014. She kicked off the new year by taking her breasts for a camel ride. By wearing those Star of David pasties, Instagram was powerless to remove the photo.
Chelsea’s gives her girls a rooftop view (Feb. 13, 2015)
Chelsea’s breasts live a high-flying life, between showering with celebrities, venturing into the Amazon jungles and riding camels, they have a pretty whirlwind schedule. It’s important that they take some time to relax, soak in the view and think about all the joy they’ve brought to the world.
Chelsea earns her Mardi Gras beads (Feb. 17, 2015)
It’s Mardi Gras, the one event where boob-flashing is not only encouraged, but it’s rewarded. Did you really think Chelsea wasn’t going to earn her beads? Ten bucks says she had those things out before she even got off the plane.
It’s been one hell of a ride for those breasts, and there’s so much more to come.
