I love laughing at the past. Ha, you thought we were going to have flying (and folding) cars by now. Haha, you thought we’d have sassy robot maids who did not compute that it was time to take out the trash. Hahaha, you thought women couldn’t vote. (Joke’s on us for the first two, I guess?)
That’s why I like these Christmas commercials from the 1950s and 1960s so much. There’s something undeniably wonderful – nay, EGGNOG’y – about watching Santa carry around a carton of cigarettes to hawk to all the good little boys(‘ parents), or listening to a little girl say, “When I grow up, I want to be a mommy” while playing with a Betsy Wetsy doll. Do you have any In a Time Before Kwanzaa-era favorites I left off? Any Xmas toy ads from 1957 prominently featuring the words “lead paint”? Who could have known.
Camel Cigarettes
Best Line: “Oh, cartons of Camels are sure to please/Besides they look so handsome under the Christmas tree.”
Viceroy Cigarettes
Best Line: “Well, Christmas morning was merry and bright/The perfect gift: the taste that’s right.”
Lucky Strike Cigarettes
Best Line: “Friends, here’s a wonderful Christmas gift for anyone who smokes, because it says, ‘Merry Christmas and Happy Smoking!’ 200 times.”
Betsy Wetsy Doll
Best Line: “When I grow up, I want to be a mommy.”
Hoover Vacuum
Best Line: “Give her what she really wants for Christmas: [a fu*king vacuum cleaner].”
