Detective Jim Gordon from Gotham is sitting down with an old friend named Dan for a drink. The two have not seen each other in years, and have a lot to catch up on. We join them mid-conversation.
Detective Jim Gordon and Dan: [in unison, laughing] … and for the love of God, put down that parrot!
Detective Jim Gordon: Oh man, college.
Dan: Yup, good times. Hey, so how’s the new gig, Mr. Fancy Detective?
Detective Jim Gordon: Oh, it’s … it’s okay so far.
Dan: Any big cases? Murders? Vast criminal conspiracies?
Detective Jim Gordon: Funny you should mention that. I was just talking to Bruce about a case like that yesterd-…
Dan: Who’s Bruce? Your partner?
Detective Jim Gordon: … Uh, no.
Dan: Your chief?
Detective Jim Gordon: No, it’s Bruce W-…
Dan: A hard-nosed Gotham beat cop who keeps one ear to the street at all times to keep his stable of C.I.’s in line?
Detective Jim Gordon: No, it’s not a cop at all. It’s Bruce Way-…
Dan: The District Attorney? Are you on a task force already, you dog? You are, aren’t you? Jimmy Gordon, making it big right before my eyes!
Detective Jim Gordon: BRUCE WAYNE!
Dan: … Wait. The Bruce Wayne? The 12-year-old?
Detective Jim Gordon: Well, yeah, but it’s not weird or anything.
Dan: Hang on. Jimmy, anytime you’re leading with “but it’s not weird,” it’s not a great sign.
Detective Jim Gordon: No, he’s really smart. And he had some good ideas about the Falcone thing.
Dan: You mean to tell me you were discussing the city’s most notorious crime bosses — perpetrators of a decade-long wave of violent crime — with a billionaire orphan who just watched his parents get murdered?
Detective Jim Gordon: Well, yeah, but…
Dan: Jimmy…
Detective Jim Gordon: But it’s not like that! He just wants to help. He’s really passionate about it. Like, really passionate.
Dan: Riiiiight, but don’t you think maybe it would be better to let the kid, I don’t know, pick up skateboarding as a hobby instead of encouraging this fascination with criminal activity? He’s just a kid, after all. And he’s got to be pretty messed up.
Detective Jim Gordon: That’s why I’m seeing him. To help. I mean, just the other day he burned his hand — real bad — on a candle, for no reason.
Dan: The other day? Jimmy, how much time are you spending with this kid?
Detective Jim Gordon: I don’t know. A couple visits a week. Maybe more, depending on the cases. But it’s not weird or anyth-… [notices Dan’s brow furrow upon saying “but it’s not weird” again] … Look, Alfred’s there, and he thinks it’s fine.
Dan: Who’s Alfred? His caseworker?
Detective Jim Gordon: No, his butler.
Dan: Jesus Christ. Of course the butler thinks it’s fine! He’s on the payroll! Has the kid even seen a psychologist yet?
Detective Jim Gordon: I … I don’t know. Look, I think you’re missing what I’m getting at, though. This kid is really passionate about fighting crime. So passionate. Almost compulsive about it. And I promised him I’d find his parents’ killer, so I feel like I owe it to hi-…
Dan: I thought you guys found the killer? The guy you shot in the gunfight?
Detective Jim Gordon: [whispers] Listen, you can’t tell anyone this, but that wasn’t the real killer, okay? Falcone framed him. He wanted the case closed.
Dan: What in the… Wait. Jimmy. Tell me you didn’t tell the kid, Jimmy. Tell me you let him have some closure. Tell me you didn’t tell a 12-year-old that the city’s underworld conspired to frame an innocent man for his parents’ murder, and that the real killer is secretly still out there running around, possibly under the protection of the very men you’re popping in to have him help you investigate. Jimmy…
Detective Jim Gordon: … … …
Dan: For the love of God. You were a war hero! What happened to you? You’re messing this kid up, Jimmy. He’s gonna end up becoming some crazed vigilante psychopath if you keep this up. You gotta knock it off.
Detective Jim Gordon: HE’S THE ONLY ONE I CAN TRUST, OKAY?
[long awkward silence]
Dan: I should go. It was good seeing you. Be well, okay? Jimmy, I mean it. Be well.
Detective Jim Gordon: Uh, yeah. You too. Tell Pam I say hi.
Dan: Will do.
[just then Gordon’s phone rings]
Detective Jim Gordon: What’s that? You got a break in the case? The Arkham blueprints don’t match up with the satellite photos? But how did you… I’ll be right over.
Dan: Who was that, Jimmy?
Detective Jim Gordon: No one.
Dan: Jimmy, was that Bruce Wayne.
Detective Jim Gordon: … … No?
Dan: Jimmy…
Detective Jim Gordon: … … Maybe.
Dan: Jesus Christ.
