Everything is terrible on CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC, but everything is amazing on local news shows. There’s secret “emoji languages,” and shirtless joggers, and penises. So many penises. It’s a utopia from the real world, where the anchors are always smiling and a little too tan, and no one thinks twice about obviously fake strongmen showing off their feats of “strength.”
Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher, of the Found Footage Festival, recently conned their way onto morning shows in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, Bismarck, North Dakota, and Allentown, Pennsylvania, by pretending to be awe-inspiring “strongman duo” Chop and Steele. They chop tiny sticks, stomp on baskets, lift chocolate milk jugs, throw more sticks at each other, and do… this!
Chop and Steele were allegedly on the road to promote the “Give Thanks for Strengths” live tour, but it was really an excuse to make “a trio of the most profoundly stupid TV appearances ever to hit local news.” If Steele looks familiar, that’s because you remember Chief Keith, another one of Prueher’s morning news alter egos. Prueher and Pickett are also responsible for yo-yo master K-Strass, which is one of the best things to ever happen on live TV.
Never change, local news. And I’ll never change the channel.