So this is what’s going on here: Tumblr user SpectralBride says his housemate Doug recently came back from an extended trip to China, and he returned with four pictures of bootleg Simpsons posters that he claims were hanging on the wall of a nightclub over there. The posters feature the familiar Simpson family members acting out what seem like pretty obvious nightclub rules, including No Prostitution, No Fighting, No Gambling, and No Drugs. They are, to be perfectly clear, amazing, and they’re even more amazing when you realize that someone actually commissioned an artist to infringe on a very popular piece of intellectual property for the express purpose of getting others to follow the rules. Just perfect.
But I am getting ahead of myself. I will now rank them from most to least hilarious.
Quick rundown of things that are happening in the No Drugs poster:
- Bart, a child, has been busted by Homer, his father, who is a sheriff now, with a Ziploc bag full of joints and pills.
- Bart is very high, which you can tell by looking at his googly eyes.
- Bart’s pants have fallen down.
- Homer has Louis C.K.’s hair.
Winner by a landslide.
The No Prostitution poster features a horny, mostly nude Homer paying Marge, his own wife, for sex. Marge is wearing a mini-skirt and appears to have Sideshow Bob’s hair. I have spent the past 10 minutes dreaming up scenarios where this could actually take place, and I assure you that every single one of them is disturbing as all hell.
The No Fighting poster depicts a visibly drunk Lisa Simpson brandishing a hair brush as a weapon as her jumping — although I suppose we can’t rule out flying, given everything we’ve seen so far — brother prepares to bash her head in with his skateboard.
Related: I vote, effectively immediately, we change it from “Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight” to “Don’t bring a hair brush to a skateboard fight.” I would like that. Same message, more or less.
Why are the Simpson children all sitting on the same side of the table? And who are they gambling against? And why is Maggie the only member of the family who is drawn both properly and sober? This one is just confusing. I demand more information.
Anyway, I suppose my point here is God bless blatant copyright infringement.