(Note: to help clear up the discussion thread congestion, we’re publishing two Game of Thrones recaps this season, one for book readers and one for non-book readers. Doing it this way means those who have read A Storm of Swords and A Feast for Crows don’t have to begin every conversation with “SPOILER,” or those who haven’t won’t need to worry about learning something they shouldn’t.)
Come at the Littlefinger, you best not miss. Or, perhaps more accurately, you best not be standing near a Moon Door. “Mockingbird” was an episode dominated by set-ups — to Brienne and Podrick heading toward the Eyrie, to Oberyn announcing his intention to be Tyrion’s champion, to Daario’s butt (that’s not so much set-up as it a little something something for the ladies, I guess) — but it was a finale that made it a great episode. The finale of Lysa’s life, that is. She took a one-way-ticket out the Moon Door and onto the jagged rocks below, her last image the small outline of Littlefinger above, who can’t even bother to give her one last farewell wave. Why? Because there’s only woman he’s ever loved: “your sister.”
“Why?” is an important question in “Mockingbird,” and for all of Game of Thrones, actually. To paraphrase Rivers Cuomo, Why bother? It’s gonna hurt me, it’s gonna literally kill me when you and your hound-like friend come along to my property and find me bleeding out to death. Everyone has their reason: Littlefinger does it for Cat; Oberyn does it to avenge his sister’s death; Brienne and Pod do it so as not to disappoint their heroes; Dany does it for the slaves (and her tailor, whom we’re forever in debt to, does it for us, the loyal viewer); Arya does it to cross names off her list; and Melisandre does it for baths.
(Now that Theon’s story doesn’t, well, reek so much, Melisandre might be my least favorite character to check in on, especially when Davos, who I love, isn’t around. I’ve never much cared for her mystical nonsense, and unlike Dany, who’s also near the bottom, not because she’s a bad character but because she’s mining well-worn material, Melisandre doesn’t have dragons. That’s a-paddlin’.)
So maybe the question’s not “why?” but “why not?” We find the things worth fighting for, even when no one’s fighting beside us. We fight for love, for honor, for power, for respect, for revenge, for spite, but mostly for gravy. Like a wise Hot Pie once said, you cannot give up on the gravy. Ever.
Let’s fly over to the next page for random observations.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee.
-Peter Dinklage would probably rather be written off Game of Thrones than spend another season hanging out in the dungeons. “Give me liberty, give me death, give anything but moldy straw.”
-I think this new Mountain will do just fine.
-Arya and the Hound’s interactions this episode reminded me of Don and Peggy’s throughout much of this season of Mad Men, minus the head kisses but plus killing people.
-Do you think the Night’s Watch calls Jon Snow “Frosty” behind his back? I bet they do.
-Bronn and Tyrion’s reunion was oddly sweet, and incredibly sad. It’s hard to blame Bronn for not wanting to fight the Mountain (even looking at that guy makes me piss my pants, and Bronn just got fancy new threads), and he’s got a nice life of settling and murdering to look forward to, but…they’re Bronn and Tyrion, the most buddy of buddy comedies. The world needs their wacky antics.
-Dany learned how to drink wine and express from Cersei.
-Meereen’s tailor deserves a promotion.
-Unlike the guy who dressed the Hound in a half-hoodie.
–Clegane Babies is another spinoff that should already exist.
-Brienne’s search methods: “HEY HAS ANY OF YOUSE GUYS SEENS A STARK GIRL?”
-It’s true: he has gotten better.
-Dinklage was great last week, but he might have been even better listening to Oberyn’s monologue.
-I’ve included fewer screencaps than usual above, because this is the greatest screencap ever.
I want that tattooed on my chest.
Book Spoiler Section: I saw this on Lena Headey’s Instagram, and my heart grew two sizes:
What does everyone think of the change from “only Cat” to “your sister”? It didn’t bother me as much as “Jaime Lannister sends his regards” -> “the Lannisters send their regards,” but I’m still not sure why they did it. If anything, I’d think the show would want the casual viewer to have Cat’s name on the brain, considering what’s about to happen. But what do I know? I’m a fool who’s already blubbering over the Mountain vs. Oberyn fight (and fidgeting in excitement over Arya and the “gift of mercy”).
Five Ways to Pass the Two Weeks Until the Next Game of Thrones
-Imagine how much better the show would be with sound effects from Billy and the Fart, 90.3 FM.
-Practice your cutting-humans-in-half-with-a-single-stroke skills.
-Make a supercut of Hot Pie and Bubba talking about pies and shrimp.
-Slap the nearest mama’s boy.
-GET THAT TATTOOED ON YOUR CHEST.
See you back here on June 2nd.
