TV

Siri May Know Whether Jon Snow Is Dead, And Here’s What Happens When You Ask Her About It

snow-uproxx
HBO/Shutterstock

Siri knows everything: Apple’s robot assistant can tell you where to find the best brunch spots, what song is playing on the radio, and probably even why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (it’s the swirls, man). But there’s one thing Siri can’t tell you, and that’s whether Jon Snow is dead or alive. She won’t even tell Kerry Washington, and you know Olivia Pope’s the likeliest out of all of us to get to the bottom of this before the new season airs.

Here’s what happens when you ask Siri whether Snow is dead, alive, or spinning me right round like a record, baby:

The fact that we’re going to Siri for help on these matters is a sign of both the robots taking over (they know more than any of us do now) and a sign that the raging controversy over Snow’s fate is coming to a boil so hot that there’s no way everyone will be satisfied with the final answer. Kit Harington even took a lie detector test on the subject and we’re still arguing about it. Can you imagine what your office will look like after the new season premiere?

Here’s some more proof that Kerry Washington’s desperate attempts to find the answer (I like to imagine she’s wearing all white and on the verge of tears as she’s asking Siri these types of questions) aren’t just fun mock-ups. Siri really does respond like this.

And that’s not all. Mashable tried it out and found that if Siri doesn’t start talking about whether Ghost has adequate care, she responds with George R. R. Martin quotes. Infuriating! (She does, of course, also suggest turning him off and then back on again, which sounds like she might know something.)

And, because it take three of something to make it true, our own Stacey Ritzen tried it and… auuuuuuugh.

So is Jon Snow dead or alive? Even the president isn’t sure, and Harington is begging fans (in a “please keep talking about this” way) to believe that Snow truly knows nothing… because he’s very, very dead.

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