Every week, following the latest episode of Game Of Thrones, Uproxx’s Kimberly Ricci and Jason Tabrys analyze the goings-on in Westeros and predict what will happen in the next episode. But what happens when the latest episode has been analyzed to within an inch of its life, and there are no more episodes to follow? In the series finale of Guesses Of Thrones, Ricci and Tabrys take a look to the uncertain future of the GoT brand by suggesting spin-offs and sequels that might turn HBO’s head despite vows that no spinoffs are currently planned. So admittedly, these are incredibly silly ideas, but we’re also talking about a fantasy epic franchise. We’ve seen dragons and frozen zombies and face-swapping abilities, and — let’s face it — nothing is out of the realm of possibility, so let’s hope for the most entertaining outcome for George R.R. Martin’s characters, shall we?
Arya’s Adventures: Social media already lit up with this notion, framing it much like a Dora the Explorer, quest-like series, after the youngest living Stark decided to travel west of Westeros. Yet let’s dispense with any G-rated notions, not that this will be a saucy series. Perhaps Arya might roll around with a few blokes, or Gendry may have been squirreled away on her boat, but that last option seems unlikely. Yes, Arya needed to be in Westeros to kill the Night King, but she’s most “at home” while traveling extensively on her own, an unthinkable feat for many civilians but one that takes No One back on the journey that saw her through much of the original series. Maybe she’d encounter Drogon, and there’s a possibility that she could train up-and-coming assassins, or perhaps Arya would simply become an international woman of mystery. You know, doing her own thing with only Needle as a companion. Maybe she’ll acquire another kill list or time jump into a full-on crossover with another popular series like Killing Eve? C’mon, she’d tear Villanelle apart. – Kimberly Ricci
Weekend At Drogon’s: This one is somewhat farfetched, but hear me out. What did Drogon have with him when he fled King’s Landing in the finale? Dany’s slain body and a heavy heart. The big fella is never seen again on the show. We’re only told that he’d been seen heading east, but what if he finds a nice plot of land and an existence of quiet grief where he swears off violence after the events of King’s Landing? And what if that existence is interrupted by angry villagers who aren’t intimidated by an orphan dragon without the Mother Of Dragons on his back or fire in his belly? The solution is simple: to maintain a peaceful life without resorting to his old ways, Drogon will have to scare off his rivals by Weekend At Bernies-ing Daenerys and propping her up so that the villagers think she is there to conquer them. And then maybe some hilarity ensues. I don’t know. Also, what? It could work. – Jason Tabrys
Bran Breaking The Six Kingdoms (Feat. Tipsy Tyrion): Bran Stark made his thoughts clear on not wanting to be king, but Westeros is stuck with him. No charismatic ruler speeches shall be delivered in this realm, only the frustrated sighs of his council attempting to run the joint for him while he intensely stares into the distance. Bran’s constant claims that everything will be fine (because he can see the future) shall reliably frustrate Brienne and Tyrion, who will attempt to avoid the bottle (and fail, especially in Tyrion’s case) while Davos and Bronn randomly disappear to nurse their own vices. Meanwhile, Sam will be of no real use other than to deliver meta jokes about George R.R. Martin, and eventually, a bored Bran will bring warging back, which will lead him to inadvertently reanimate the Night King. Then we’ll get to see what it would have been like if the undead won the Battle of Winterfell, and Bran would spend the whole time parked in front of that damn Weirwood tree. (This series would definitely be canceled after two seasons.) — KR
Westeros Wing: Game Of Thrones was often at its best when it focused on power players, so let’s retire the swords and incest and lean into politics with this collab between George R. R. Martin and Aaron Sorkin that reimagines The West Wing in Nu King’s Landing. Bran and his small council already match up quite nicely. Dutiful Podrick fits as a stand-in for Charlie. Bran, ever careful with his words and patient, is a nice Bartlet replacement. Tyrion as a battle-tested and wise advisor fits the Leo mold with bearded, quippy, and grumpy Davos working out wonderfully as the Toby. I can definitely see Brienne filling the CJ role while Bronn uses his charms to play the Josh. And then I guess Sam is Mrs. Landingham. Yeah, this works. Besides, at this point, dragons and white walkers are a lot more believable than the West Wing’s original congenial vision of Washington D.C. – JT
Who’s Watching Jon And Tormund? — No one truly knows why the Night’s Watch still exists, but we can assume one of two reasons: (1) The Stark kids needed a reason to send Jon into exile; (2) Bran foresees a need to stay vigilant even after the Night King’s death. A Tormund and the Dog finale would’ve worked for an actual series ending as well as a spinoff, but now that we know that Jon Snow lived, we might as well make this a buddy-cop affair. There’s likely no bargaining nor reasoning with Tormund, who will gleefully bend all rules while Jon adheres to proper procedure. Maybe Jon would even insist that the wall be rebuilt just to keep the wildlings occupied with a purpose, but Tormund will only swagger about, making eyes at tall wildling ladies and annoying Jon by continuing to speak of his love for Brienne. The best part of this series, though, will be all the Giantsbane stories that Tormund shall spill while Jon grimaces near the fire. Those will make for fine bottle episodes. – KR
We Inherited A Castle: Crestfallen when his premature proposal to noted gallivanter Arya Stark falls flat, skilled craftslad and former bastard Gendry Baratheon decides to take seriously his new role as Lord Of Storm’s End. Unfortunately, with Renly and Stannis off fighting in the War Of The Five Kings for the last few years, things have fallen into a state of disrepair, requiring Gendry to team up with a few good-natured locals to fix things up, but within his dominion and within himself. – JT
Ask Brienne: The Game of Thrones audience appeared to be satisfied with Brienne of Tarth’s new position as head of Bran’s Kingsguard. Yes, they greeted this development with a trivial meme that essentially reduced Brienne to a Carrie Bradshaw-esque role, but at least this was less demeaning than leaving off with her character sobbing in a bathrobe after Jaime Lannister took her virginity and then galloped away to be with Cersei. When it came to writing down Jaime’s legacy, Brienne revealed that she can set aside lingering emotions and see the positive in awkward situations. Perhaps her newfound dabbling in interpersonal dynamics could blossom, and she can find a supplementary new gig in the relatively peaceful new realm. As an advice columnist? Yes, she’d cut through the bullsh*t like no other, and that’s something that anyone would appreciate in a Thrones spinoff. – KR
Any other ideas for silly spinoffs? Sound off in the comments.
