Breaking Bad was one of the best shows on TV partly because it was able to blend dark humor and drama so effortlessly, and a big factor in that equation was Dean Norris’ flawless portrayal of Hank Schrader. The DEA agent was not only a tough guy, he was also downright hilarious. It’s Norris’ birthday this week, so it’s time to take a look back at these 10 hilarious and badass lines from Walter White’s brother-in-law.
“I swear to Christ — I will put you under the jail.”
For use when you find your kid’s weed stash.
“Now look buddy, the last thing I want to do is get you in hot water, but some meth monkey had a feeding frenzy in here.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arG4KLhoxi4#t=5m35s
For use when a friend suspects you of eating the last breakfast burrito.
“I’ve seen better acting in an epileptic whorehouse.”
For use when your significant other asks you to read lines with them for their next play at the rec center.
“Sit down! Sit your ass down! Comprende! Sientate!”
For use when your drunk uncle won’t stop dancing at the family christmas party.
“Does the Pope sh*t in his hat?”
For use when you want to know if the Pope sh*ts in his hat.
“Did I say you could open your mouth? And, hands off the car!”
For use when a cop asks for your license and registration.
“…You can go f*ck yourself.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbg6HCDJG3Y#t=3m10s
For use when the cashier at McDonald’s gets your order wrong.
“You had my cell phone number! You had my wife’s name! How’d you do it?! Talk! Who you working with?!”
For use when that pesky telemarketer calls for the fourth time in one day asking if you go to the bathroom regularly.
“…Get a big ol’ raging hard-on at the idea of catching this piece of sh*t.”
For use when you’re motivating your kids before a big game of tag.
“…Go beat your piñata. The rest of you jokers — too damn quiet in here.”
For use when the neighbor’s birthday party is hitting a lull.
