Two things happen on the day after Thanksgiving: One, people all over the country wake up at an ungodly hour to wait in line for the privilege of shanking each other over discounted clock-radios, and two, to the extent it hasn’t already happened, the holiday season kicks into full swing. Decorations go up, holiday-themed commercials and specials start airing non-stop on television, and Christmas songs fill the radio airwaves. And when Christmas songs start filling the radio airwaves, it reminds me of something very important that I like to bring to everyone’s attention every year: It totally sounds like Brenda Lee says the f-word in “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.”
Join me at the 0:20 mark as Ms. Lee begins the second verse, won’t you?
Rockin’ around the Christmas Tree
Let the Christmas Spirit ring
Later we’ll have some pumpkin pie
and we’ll do some caroling
“Later we’ll have some f-ckin’ pie.” This is all I’ve been able to hear since I was about 12, and it’s all you’ll be able to hear from now on, too. As I’ve said before, it’s even better if you imagine Brenda Lee as a frustrated, frazzled mom who just wanted to have a nice family Christmas, but her kids drove her nuts with all their various “I want…” and “Buy me a…” demands, and she ended up snapping like a stale candy cane.
“LATER WE’LL HAVE SOME F-CKING PIE AND WE’LL DO SOME CAROLING. AND IF ANY OF YOU SAY ONE WORD ABOUT IT, NO ONE IS GETTING ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS. DO YOU HEAR ME?!”
So, yeah, this is my favorite Christmas song.
Photo credit: Shutterstock/AnjelikaGr