I’m going to let you all in on a little secret: the UPROXX staff basically only talks to each other in The Simpsons and 30 Rock quotes. Approximately 78% of our conversations mention something that Homer Simpson or Liz Lemon once said (the other 22%: Taco Bell). This has been especially true this week, at least for me, because of the Emmys. Something felt off, and that something was 30 Rock not being nominated. Outstanding Lead Actor In a Comedy Series didn’t feel right without Alec Baldwin’s name next to the less deserving Don Cheadle or Jim Parsons, who’s somehow won two years in a row.
But because 30 Rock reruns are never not on (plus, Netflix), the wisdom of Liz, Jack, Tracy, Jenna, and Kenneth is always on my mind grapes. And there’s A LOT to keep track of: you could watch an episode you’ve seen 10 times, and still pick up 10 new jokes on the 11th play. So consider this post of 25 30 Rock quotes I still think about every day (five each for the Big Four, then one for five random characters) not necessarily the show’s best lines — that would be an impossible task — but the ones I’ve probably mentioned in casual conversation this week alone.
Liz Lemon
1. Perfect for: when you need to talk things out with someone who’ll listen.
2. Perfect for: walking around Brooklyn.
3. Perfect for: achieving world peace. Sandwiches heal all pain.
4. Perfect for: this weekend.
5. Perfect for: convincing yourself to leave New York.
Jack Donaghy
6. Perfect for: deciding if you really want to go to “the RatDog afterparty.”
7. Perfect for: reviewing a Michael Bay movie.
8. Perfect for: yelling at fish.
9. Perfect for: investing in Blockbuster.
10. Perfect for: days, evening, nights. Doesn’t matter that it’s not a quote.
Tracy Jordan
11. Perfect for: encouraging a friend that they can do better.
12. Perfect for: when you realize something that’s been apparent all along.
13. Perfect for: right now?
14. Perfect for: watching Precious (or Fresh Ass: Based on the Novel ‘Tush’ by Assfire).
15. Perfect for: motivational posters.
Jenna Maroney
16. Perfect for: when someone asks for advice.
17. Perfect for: wondering if the white girl at Coachella knows what her tattoo really says.
18. Perfect for: entering a room.
19. Perfect for: leaving a room.
20. Perfect for: any time you’re in public, surrounded by people.
Etc.
21. Perfect for: any time before 10 a.m.
22. Perfect for: a pickup line at the bar.
23. Perfect for: HAM.
24. Perfect for: the first line of your medical school application essay.
25. Perfect for: any situation ever (it’s my favorite 30 Rock scene — god I miss this show).
